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Contrary to Popular Belief… I am Still Alive

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Hello all to all you depraved scoundrels, rejects and perverts!

Yes, I am still alive. I haven’t been answering questions and comments that have been pouring in recently after the country started opening up slowly.

So why haven’t I written anything in a long while.

Cause what’s there to write about? Thailand’s entire sex industry got the shit kicked out of it these past 3 years.

And funny thing is for me it was great!

I’m not kidding. Let me illustrate an example.

Picture a large swimming pool filled with 100 girls. 60 of them are undesirable. 30 of them are okay but you wouldn’t overspend on. And the last 10 are total gems and totally worth a splurge. You can easily elbow your way past the wilder beasts and into the arms of a beautiful sex kitten or two.

That’s what it’s been like for me during the entire shit storm.

There were a lot of beautiful women working the scene and streets of Bangkok and it was easier for me to find them.

Now picture 200 dudes just plopped into said swimming pool. I have to put a lot more effort to wade through several hundred mouth breathers with erections and the aforementioned wilder beasts to reach beauties. And often too late as their bountiful boobs are now covered with crusty semen.

Alas the fun seems to be over. Sure it’ll still take time for Thailand’s sex tourism to recover. People forget and before you know it, it’s like nothing happened.

Unless this new monkey pox stirs up more trouble.

Fingers crossed it won’t as Jim Hunt is not a selfish prick.

Many of my favorite massage shops are still around, some have closed. But will they reopen, who knows. At the moment many shops are having a hard time finding workers to fill their rosters.

At the moment I’m calling up shops instead of getting around on my moped (gas prices are ridiculous) and texting as well to update my blog.

I have to admit I do miss writing about my experiences and posting them here.

Now if you are coming to Thailand in the near future, I believe you can still have a good time. There are still not a lot of foreign tourists so personally I think it’s the best time. Because by the end of this year, the massage shops, bars and streets will be back, not only full of beautiful Thai women, but the mouth breathers blocking the streets.

Should I Still Visit Thailand

Should I Still Visit Thailand’s Red Light Districts

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COVID-19 Thailand – Should I Still Come?

Before this coronavirus mess blew up around the world I was thinking if I should write this post about whether or not you should still visit the major red light districts of Thailand.

In Bangkok, Pattaya and Phuket, bars and massage shops were ordered to shut down until the end of this month. I don’t think these places will close down as these businesses have some sort of police in place to protect their own interest. Who knows what else the Thai government is going to suggest next.

Good news as I can see the bar districts in Bangkok are taking a proactive stance. Visitors go through a temperature check and those with high temperatures are barred from entering. I was near the entrance of Nana Plaza having a cold one at Hooters.

I didn’t see anyone get turned away. It’s a good front though. Problem is, COVID-19 is asymptomatic. The disease takes time to manifest. Anyone could be a carrier and not know about it until WHAM! You’re on your back bleeding from you asshole!

Just kidding.

I’m a massage guy anyways and as I’m getting older, I don’t enjoy crowded noisy bars today. I’ve checked around and asked my favorite massage parlors and they said they will remain open for now. But that could change in the near future. So if you’re dead set on coming to Thailand you’ll have less choice of pussy for sale. But it’s still available non the less.

If you’re here already or anytime between the end of this month, I’d call the massage shop up first and see if they’re open. Before showing up at their doorstep.

Gogo bars inside Nana and Soi Cowboy are still open. But the government has ordered bars to be closed until the end of March. Not sure if the bars will follow the order but we shall see. But eerily quiet the last time I went. And it’ll be quiet for awhile from the looks of things.

I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY, I’M STILL GOING TO THAILAND

Personally, I don’t give two shits if you still want to visit and risk getting infected with this superbug. I honestly think you’ll have more chance catching a disease at the airport than here in Thailand. That’s what I really think. But I know that makes me sound like a dick. And I am, your approval is unnecessary.

But listen to your ol’ buddy Jim Hunt. Quarantine yourself by staying home and jerk off until this blows over. Cause it will.

 

WOULD YOU RUN A SEX MASSAGE IN BANGKOK__

Running a Sex Massage in Bangkok

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Running a Full Service Sex Massage Sounds Like Fun… Doesn’t It?

If the opportunity to open start a sex massage business in Bangkok falls on my lap, I’d turn it down in a heart beat. I think many guys would die for the opportunity to be the pimp in charge. To be surrounded by a dozen big breasted, shaved below beauties every single day.

Alas, that’s not the reality of it all.

I can’t tell you what it’s like to own a massage shop serving up happy endings to men in Bangkok. Because I’ve never done it. The next best thing is to tell you about a guy who did.

His name is Gerald and here’s his tale.

The Luckiest Bastard in the World

I met Gerald four years ago through Rob and Roy. The two idiots I wrote about for how to arrange a two guy one girl threesome in Thailand.

Rob and Roy are total blabber mouths that can’t keep their mouths shut about anything. We all met up one night at a party and one of them told Gerald to talk to me about promoting his place of business. It was the first time the both of us met.

I didn’t know anything about him. Except he was in the import/export business. And that he is wealthy as fuck. You can just sense it when you’re around him. He just oozes douchiness. And all he knew about me was that I studied walruses before retirement.

Gerald looked at me. And I looked back at him. Then both of us gave those idiots a strange look. The same look you give someone that shouldn’t be telling secrets to shut the hell up. I didn’t know Gerald’s secret and he didn’t know mine.

But the cats out of the bag as the saying goes. We found out we had something in common. Gerald discovered I write this shitty blog reviewing sex massage shops. And I found out he owns a shitty massage shop with really ugly hookers near the deep end of Phrom Phong red light district in Bangkok.

Gerald’s Background

This guy hails from one of the wealthiest European nations. His daddy’s wealth originated all the way back to the days when Europeans were slave trading. It’s as old money as it gets. His mommy is a socialite, because why not.

His parents got married and Gerald was born in a posh hospital with the view of a magnificent ancient castle. The castle which is just a symbol of the wealth he will inherit and a guarantee that he’s going to be on top of the shit heap overlooking down on us peasants fighting for leftovers.

From then on its lavish childhood birthdays with the most expensive champagne. Morning horse riding and archery lessons followed by evenings of cello and violin lessons. Going water skiing on his family’s  speed boat on Lake Como and eating the finest cheese and crackers money can buy. On his sixteenth birthday his father took him to the best brothels in the alps where the hottest hookers welcomed him into manhood.

Okay, so I made up that whole last paragraph. I don’t know much about the shit he went through during his young adult life and frankly I don’t care. I just imagined this is the sort of thing rich stuffy European people do. And to give Gerald a good laugh reading this. Although, after letting him read this before posting he said I wasn’t far off.

Then one day, as if life didn’t think Gerald was being treated fairly enough, he was given a position to manage a European company in Japan for a few years. And finally another in Thailand where he is now currently.

He’s only in his late 30’s still in the prime of his life. And he’s single and plans to stay that way until he’s dead. Smart guy…

Things Started Getting Better and Better

His move to Thailand was all paid for. His travel expenses were all taken care. Including a generous expense account for taking clients out to lavish dinners and top shelf whores for dessert.

He gets to live inside a house inside a posh neighborhood in Bangkok rent free. A couple of servants are thrown in for good measure and a car with a driver on 24 hours call.

Of course from Gerald’s prospective this is nothing special. He’s humble in that kind of way. I told him that to me, his life is equivalent to winning three jackpot lotteries at the same time. Twice in the same year.

From Riches to Owning a Brothel

Gerald started dating and getting close to a high class Thai call girl. She eventually became his close confidant, assistant, translator and booty call. Yes, there are exclusive escort services for the rich in Thailand with exceptionally high class hookers. The likes us of us will never, ever see or lay our grubby  hands on.

Long story short she became his trusted fixer. One day she presented him with the opportunity to take over a failing full service massage shop inside Phrom Phong. Her older sister worked inside and told her the current owner was looking to sell cheap and get out fast.

Gerald has never been to the sleazy massage shops of Bangkok for a game of hide the schnitzel. Even though he takes out of town clients for some fun around Bangkok’s red light districts. He usually takes everyone to Thai style gentleman’s clubs. With his classic handsome European features he’s got no problem getting into those girls’ panties.

His clients however, are a different story. They’re older, bald, short with floppy abs and man boobs like me. He had to think of an effective strategy to entertain his clients without jerking them off himself.

So when he got a call from his fixer about a potential business opportunity where he could make his clients “happy” he decided to go for it. He didn’t have to take the business. He did it out of curiosity.

With Gerald as an insider, I could find out certain aspects of this type of business without being too nosy with the other massage shops I frequent.

But I can freely write about this now because after 4 years of running his sex shop he decided to shut it down. It wasn’t making money and he found a buyer and sold at a lost. I can’t name the shop because the new owner has kept the shop’s name. And it’s just as crappy as when Gerald ran the shop, if not worse.

Here’s what I found out about the business after spending time with Gerald. Starting from one of the most important aspects of running a brothel in Thailand.

Thai Sex Massage Health Checks and Regulations

From the comments and emails I receive on a constant basis, sexually transmitted diseases is a major topic. Everyone should be as careful as they possibly can. Check your dicks and make sure there are no scratches.

But seriously, Gerald says every single girl that wants to work at his shop must be accompanied by his trusted confidant to a hospital for health check-up. Most of the businesses involved in the sex industry require their workers to go get regular medical check ups too.

There is no law that requires prostitutes to be checked. No laws. It’s up to the owners of brothels to enforce their sex workers to get regular check ups. Most sex workers do because they are concerned for their own well-being.

There is a system of monitoring sex workers instituted by the Thai government. But let’s face it the Thai government, like any government, is totally inept in practically every aspect of bureaucracy. Monitoring sex workers is the lowest rung on the ladder.

That said, it is totally up to the massage shop to enforce a health and safety check for all their sex workers. It’s just my own firm belief that many shop owners don’t want diseased girls working for them. Think about the repercussions involved if one of their sex workers are suspected of infecting customers.

When Business Goes Bad

Just goes to show you how tough it is to own a sex massage shop in Bangkok. Even when there are so many things going for you in life, this is the type of business to lay down a bitch slap and keep you there.

After finding out I have hands on experience visiting every single massage happy ending massage shop in Bangkok, Gerald offered me a nice salary to help him bring new life into his parlor.

I told Gerald, the only way for this type of business to succeed is to get the prettiest girls to stand outside his shop. Not an old fat guy like me sitting inside with a thumb up his ass.

The formula of success for any brothel is very simple. Yet extremely difficult to achieve today.

Gerald knows a lot of very beautiful Thai girls that don’t claim to be prostitutes but really are. Gold diggers are just on a different level, but are prostitutes nonetheless. Beautiful Thai women that dip their toes into prostitution have more control on the type and manner of men they open their legs for.

Types of Girls Working in Sex Massages

It’s no secret poor girls from small farms make up the bulk of sex workers in Thailand. But there are many instances where Thai ladies of middle income background fall back on the world’s oldest profession.

Many women in Thai society have become mia noi which loosely translates to second wife. If they’re even more lucky their man sets them up with a small business. Once he’s tired of her or thinks she’s become too much of a hassle he abandons her.

This is something that happens too frequently in Thailand. I’ve met a lot of women inside sex massage parlors with similar stories. They were a sponsored mistress and a very small business was set up for them by their sponsor.

When the honeymoon is over they get the boot. As a result they don’t have the money, nor the know how to support themselves after their man grows tired of them.

So they fall back as sex workers to make fast cash. It is only under the most strenuous conditions that girls turn to prostitution. Some of Gerald’s top prettiest girls had their own businesses. They might’ve started out with Thai sponsors early on that helped them start that business. But once their bread winner leaves for a younger girl they are on their own.

Because they didn’t have the right mindset or know how to run a business successfully from the start. Which makes it hard to make their car payments and living expenses alone they start their path to full on prostitution.

The Most Difficult Thing About this Business of Sex

Recruiting beautiful Thai girls is rapidly becoming more difficult today. Half decent looking girls is just as not easy. With social media apps on every working girls’ mobile phone, they can literally cut out the middle man and work on their own. Reaping 100% of the profit.

Most of the girls working in massage parlors are of a different calibre. Majority are dark skinned and thus deemed undesirable in the eyes of rich Thai men that are even darker skinned.

But for us farang we just love em’ girls to pieces. But they are not as hot as their taller lighter skinned whores. However, lighter skinned beauties are exactly the type of girls Gerald’s clients prefer. And finding those types of girls to massage and have sex with out of shape guys with sweaty balls is very difficult.

When Gerald took over the business, he only had four ladies ready to work. Two were in their late twenties. The other two were in their mid thirties. Even with full makeup on these ladies don’t look like they’ll help rake in the money. All of them have at least one kid.

Gerald was introduced to a squad of recruiters and headhunters up north thru the previous owner. Even his current sex workers promised to help look. Of course they all get a finder’s fee for motivation.

He gave them all specific descriptions for the girls interested in working:

  1. Age range of twenty to thirty years of age (legal age for sex worker is 18)
  2. Weight range 45 to 55 kilos
  3. Minimum breast size B cup

In a months time 8 ladies were presented to Gerald for an interview. None of them fit his profile. It was as if the recruiters totally disregarded his requirements. There was a woman who claimed she was in her mid twenties but looked like she in her late forties.

She insisted she was the right age to work and tried her best to convince Gerald to let her work for him. She begged him to test her by letting her blow him. But her age wasn’t the issue. She was double the weight range with looks that will frighten away even customers with beer goggles.

By two months time it got a little bit better. He hired two girls that met his requirements with great potential. And three other girls that were sufficient. He had ten ladies in total which is quite a lot.

Walk in customers started trickling in and his business was making some money. But not enough to keep the business running worthwhile.

The Sex Massage Shop Dilemma

When there are beautiful girls working inside a massage parlor they are eventually swooped up by a foreigner. I get a lot of flack for recommending massage shop with hot girls. And then when a reader goes in all they find are ugly harpies. It’s not my fault.

Sex workers with good looks and a perky set of tits are eventually sponsored by a customer. This happened to Gerald too many times to count. Every single time, it doesn’t matter even when he makes them sign a work contract. The ladies just get their newly found boyfriend to pay and release them from their responsibilities.

You might think why doesn’t Gerald just make the girls sign a contract with an absurdly high release fee. Well if he did that know one would want to work for him.

Some ladies just leave because they don’t like getting jack hammered by strangers and want to get away from this type of work. Gerald releases them from their contract out of kindness. He’s seen the types of customers that comes in and wouldn’t blame the ladies for wanting to stop this type of work.

That’s the dilemma that all massage shops in Bangkok have. It’s not the fault of the business owners. I seriously believe most sex massage shops in Thailand want to make their customers happy.

How Much Massage Sex Workers Get Paid

In Gerald’s shop he goes 50/50 with his  massage girls. Which is very generous. Many other shops go 60/40 with the shop getting the bigger share.

The busiest massage shops and I can’t name it give their ladies 30. But they’re in a big and very popular shop with lots of foreign customers, mainly from Asia and can make a lot of cash through volume.

Angel’s Massage is the most generous, giving their ladies the total amount paid for sex only. Which is one of the reasons why they can maintain a stable roster of sex workers.

I recommended Gerald go with the same pay format as Angel’s. But it’s not feasible for his business model because I doesn’t own the building so there’s rent to pay. While Angels owns the building.

Gerald even considered buying the building to offset cost in the long run. He was given an offer he could handle. But his heart wasn’t set on staying in this type of business much longer because it was becoming very difficult to find good quality massage girls. 50/50 profit share was the best he could do for his workers.

Dealing with the Law

This might come as a shocker to you. Prostitution in Thailand is illegal. But politicians here love pussy just as much as you do if not more. So it’s tolerated. Can’t have government officials getting in trouble with the law for cavorting with prostitutes can we?

And let’s face it. There always will be a demand for sex. Men fly to Thailand from around the world simply because sex for sale is plenty and cheaper here. Even though the Baht is strong the urge for sex is even stronger. As long as there’s a demand someone will be there to catch the drippings of illegal businesses. Usually in the form of an official.

Without getting into too much details as Gerald doesn’t want to burn bridges with the fine folks that were kind enough to allow him to run a brothel. The answer is yes he does have to pay some cash to keep his business running. And to tip him off as well when there’s a “quality of life” check. Which happens once in awhile.

Gerald says of the 3 years he’s been in business he’s never been raided by the police. There’s no reason to. Mainly because he doesn’t have any Lao or Cambodian girls working for him. All of his girls are from Thailand.

And there are zero underaged or barely legal sex workers in his shop. This was an advice that was passed on from the previous owner before Gerald took over. Employing underaged girls is one surefire way to get the police knocking down doors and permanent closure.

Even though legal age for a sex worker is 18 years old Gerald only allowed a minimum of 20 years to be employed as a safe measure.

Why I Never Shit On A Massage Business

One thing I really respect Gerald for is that he never asked me to write a favorable review of his massage shop. Because he already knew his business did not have what it takes to make customers happy. In a way it would also make me mislead my readers.

I would never want to take advantage of the degenerates reading my blog. And also because Gerald didn’t offer me enough money to write glowing positive review about his trash heap of a massage parlor filled with ugly trolls in lingerie.

I’ve been to his shop a few times. This was before I knew he owned it. The few times I went in I came back out like it was a revolving door. Like I always said I don’t like to shit on people’s businesses. Because I know this is one of the toughest businesses to maintain in Thailand.

Another thing is some of the shops are run by a certain Asian criminal organization that likes to cut off subordinates fingers for failure. I’m not going to name names of course.

Yakuza! Excuse me for sneezing. My allergies are killing me.

Gerald had a good learning experience. It was the first time he ever failed at a business. He’s taking it all in stride as they say because it’s not like he sank his entire savings into this business.

stress free fun

Guide to a Safe and Fun Time in Thailand’s Red Light Districts

blog, body to body, Happy Ending Massage, Uncategorized 41 Comments

Jim Hunt’s Guide to Having a STD Free Holiday with Thai Prostitutes

I’m a pervert. And I’m proud of it. But there’s shit in the sex districts of Thailand that even I wouldn’t do. And I’ll share it all with you today. I know a lot of guys want to know what makes ol’ Jim Hunt’s pickle dance in my pants.

Believe it or not, when it comes to my sexual perversions I have a limit. It seems like I don’t, but really I’m not that all sexually depraved.

I’ve paid for sex with prostitutes while traveling all over the world. In Thailand I can say for certain the ladies here are prettier, cleaner and a lot less bitchy because most have basic English skills.

Through my years over here I’ve picked up enough of the language to hold a conversation on my own. But often times, I play the newbie when possible and pretend I can only speak Swahili.

But there are certain things that I would never do here when it comes to sexual enjoyment. Besides staying away from the obvious stigmas tied to this country and most parts of Southeast Asia, I am a strong safe sex proponent. But I cant’ deny bareback blowjobs. See, you can have your cake and eat it too.

Let’s start off with all the things I wouldn’t do in the red light district of Thailand.

The Shit I Won’t Do

Safe Sex MemeHaving Sex Without a Condom – I can’t recall. But I think I was offered sex without condoms about a dozen times during the twenty plus years I’ve been frolicking with prostitutes in Thailand.

I’ve had sex with out condoms before with the good Thai girlfriends that were on the pill. During those times I’ve had short stints of monogamy which never worked out.

And then I usually get offers of condom free sex from Thai prostitutes that I have known at a more personal, deeper level through time. Even then through sheer willpower I refused the offer of raw hot monkey sex.

I’ve had scary moments and close calls before at other countries messing around with hookers. So it’s a lessoned I learned and never forget.

Just Use Condoms So You Don’t Have to Worry

It wasn’t easy but it was necessary. Never have I been offered sex without using a condom from Thai hookers on the first night I’ve met. That’s a good thing. And for the longest time, in my experience, Thai prostitutes always insist that customers wear condoms.

As much as I enjoy having that nice hot silky sensation of a woman’s vagina, my hard and fast rule is to always, always wear a condom. Granted, condoms can not protect you from all sexually transmitted diseases. Here’s an article on a list of STDs that can still spread while your cock is neatly shrink packaged.

Even then, I rather have a piece of rubber sheathed on my cock than not. I suggest you do the same too. Don’t ever think about going in without a condom.

Don’t Kiss Prostitutes

I got slapped on the face once by a Thai hooker I’ve been seeing frequently. I was on top of her going missionary. That particular night, she kept trying to plant her lips on mine. We’ve been seeing each other for several months.

She was really into me. I was handsome then, with a head full of hair, six pack abs and pec muscles that would give Arnold Schwarzenegger an erection.

She was like a starved, hungry fat kid chasing a greasy pork chop around a kitchen.

She tried to wedge her wet tongue, the same tongue that sucked and licked hundreds of cocks and sweaty balls, including yours truly, between my tightly shut mouth.

I kept turning my face. Left and right. Right and left. Frustrated, she finally got the message.

She asked me why I wouldn’t kiss her.

I can’t lie. I told her she just ate my asshole.

Slap. Can’t recall if she hit me twice though. Everything happened so fast and with the light turned off I thought I saw stars.

Never kiss prostitutes. Ever.

Prostitutes make a living with their holes. Lots of things went inside of those holes. I know, ignorance is bliss, out of sight out of mind, blah… blah… blah…

Don’t Eat a Hooker’s Pussy

Speaking of holes, I have no clue why any man would want to go down on a women? Yeah, yeah, sure we’ve seen it for the first time in porno mags (for us old geezers) and porno vids on the net (for all you god damn millennials). It looks good, yummy and tasty. But is it really?

Really, I want you to rewind that tape inside your brain. From your experiences.

Did it really taste good? Leave a comment below as I’m taking a poll.

Guys, I’ve tried, believe me I did. But eating a girls pussy out just doesn’t do it for me. I mean, I like the sensation of getting between a woman’s legs.

But when you’re actually between a girl, while eating her out, there’s a slightly acidic taste that builds up. It’s like having a mouth full of copper pennies. I remember watching porno during my teens. Male porn actors kept saying how sweet pussy tasted.

Rocco Siffredi, you’re a bullshit artist! And you can eat shit as well Peter North! Ron Jeremy, dude, I’m disappointed in you.

All my damn idols lied to me.

The first pussy I ate was the first girl I dated in my home town. It tasted anything but sweet. I was put off of it since then. But I did it anyways because I was pussy whipped. But at least she was a certified virgin.

In Thailand, there were only two instances I ate pussy, at the same occasion. It was on two super hot Thai girls my Thai business partner at the time introduced me too.

They weren’t exactly your normal run of the mill prostitutes. But hookers none the less. They were amazing. I enjoyed my time with them even when one both of them tasted like old leather boots.

I made exceptions for them because, A) I was shit faced drunk and B) Holy shit were they HOT!!!

Don’t Treat Hookers Like Girlfriends

There’s something a lot of stupid knuckleheads do in Thailand. Doesn’t matter if they’re newbies or veterans.

I think you’d agree, that if you saved up some of your hard earned cash to come all the way to Thailand you’d want to have as much sex with as many prostitutes as your budget allows, right?  I hope you’re nodding your head in agreement.

You’re not coming here just to have sex with one girl, right? Of course not!

I’m not suggesting anyone mistreat a lady. No one should. But if you treat them like they’re your soulmate, that’s exactly what you’ll GET! You’ve just unintentionally locked yourself to a ball and chain.

There are too many men today that are way too super-sensitive for their own good and sanity. They cross the line with prostitutes by exclaiming how beautiful they are. How sexy they are and worst of all, tell them how much they love them!

Whatever you do, don’t ever cross that line. Focus on your original plan. You’ll have more fun that way!

Don’t Go Where You’re Not Welcome

I tell people that I’m the Indiana Jones of pussy. One of the perks of being single and STD free is that I can enjoy wandering around the world having sex with prostitutes. But where ever I go, I always stick to places where foreigners are mostly allowed to pay for sex with local women.

Local Thai guys have places to mess around with prostitutes also. I made a mistake of suggesting to an acquaintance about a local Thai place they could go on their own if they felt adventurous. I thought why not. He said he could handle himself speaking Thai and I took his word for it.

Poster of Thai Club Girl
A popular Thai only members club…

And the place he went to was not far from central Bangkok. The area I’m talking about is in Huay Kwang along Soi Intamarat. Plenty of foreigners live in that area. I didn’t really see a harm in it.

If you walk up and down Soi Intamarat near Huai Kwang, you will spot many small store fronts, with red and pink fluorescent lightbulbs and Thai ladies in short dresses sitting outside. The whole place screams out hookers for sale!

These establishments operate has karaoke bars, or hostess bars. But there are back rooms for a quickie. Or you can take them back to your place, for the right price.

There’s No Need to Go Where Thai Guys Go

Long story short, he went in, started buying drinks for ladies that kept him company. He sang a few songs and tried to seal the deal with an attractive young lady. She agreed to go.

But the manager which is most likely the boss, and his seven sons, which were most likely unrelated low level thugs, wouldn’t let her leave with him, until he stayed longer and bought more drinks. Way more drinks than he should be buying.

He knew what was up. Told them he spent all the cash on drinks and left alone back to his hotel room to jerk off.

Don’t Ever Have Sex with Ladyboys – Unless You Can Handle the Consequences

Ladyboy taking showerI met a few guys that I thought would never, ever have sexual encounters with ladyboys. But they did. The end results were not pretty.

After a hard night of drinking to forget that they “allegedly” sucked dick,  I kept hearing them say how much they hated themselves. And they’d go on and on.

I’d just tell them to shut up. Pull up them big boy pants and forget about it.

I’ve never had sex with ladyboys in the Judea/Christian sense of the word. I have had blowjobs from a few. Could be more. Cause it’s harder and harder to tell these days. Anyways, this isn’t about me.

Point is if you’re curious or a budding bi-sexual, don’t freak the hell out after the fact. Treat your body like an amusement park and enjoy the ride sensibly.

Stay in the red light districts. Use condoms. Screwed a ladyboy? Oh well, move along, nothing to see here. Life moves on. And for god sakes don’t kiss and eat whore pussies! You’ll be happy you did!

Things I Do in the Red Light Districts of Thailand

Take Your Time – Never Hurry – You’ll Be Back

I’ve met a lot of dip shit newbies in the bars and massage parlors. You can tell who they are. They’re sweating profusely because they’re dressed like they’re going to eat at a fancy Sunday buffet. Their lips look dry while staring down at a massage service menu. Not making eye contact with anyone at all because they’re too nervous and shy.

No one is judging you.

They’ve been inside already for 10 minutes reading every single letter and detail. Until another John steps in through the doors so he quickly picks the best massage girl out of the lot before someone lays their grubby hands on her.

I just described myself to a T when I first started coming here 20 plus years ago.

Taragon Soapy Massage

I was a major dip shit. I wore a three piece suit and walked around in search of Thai prostitutes. I’m not joking. I was dripping in sweat. I tried to cram in as much bang sessions I could, within a 20 hour time span. I might’ve pushed a few customers out of the way.

I was n Bangkok and Pattaya for one week only. Do I split my time evenly? Do I stay in Bangkok more days or Pattaya?

Don’t Ever Be a Prick Like Me – There’s Always Time

The answer, stay in Bangkok for more days. That’s where the airports are. You don’t need to spend that precious one to three hours getting to the airports to catch your flight back to nowheresville.

This website is crammed full of massage shops that are super easy to find. Then, when you’re done checking those out, check out a soapy massage like Taragon and see how it compares with others.

Don’t worry, foreigners are welcome to this one. Only thing is you might be the only foreigner inside. Because this is one of the fewest mentioned soapy massage parlors on this here internet.

Go in and check it out and see if Taragon massage girls are right for you. Remember, if you don’t like what you see you can always leave.

But… But… I Don’t Think I’ll Ever Be Back in Thailand…

Bullshit. For some reason most guys think they’ll never be back in Thailand. They’ve fallen so in love with their brief encounter with the whores of Thailand that they get the shakes. Not unless they’re murders and rapist. In that case, please don’t come here.

But if you’re a non-violent cretin with a relatively good job and fair pay, you’ll be back. You’ll find someway, somehow, to crawl back here. Trust me.

So take your time here. Don’t rush and familiarize yourself with the Bangkok’s red light districts. The second time back in Thailand will be your best. Because you’ll know what to expect and have some experience under your belt.

Make The Trip Your Very Own

Twenty years ago, there weren’t so many websites with information about the places to go find prostitutes in Thailand.

There were message boards and even groups you could join like I did when AOL was still popular. That’s where I went to seek out and gather intel about places to visit and general tips about the pay for play scene.

It’s great to have all that information, especially about prices for Thai prostitutes at the time. And also places I should go check out, like the BJ bars which were wildly popular and prevalent twenty years ago.

But to be honest, I found a couple of gems all by my lonesome. Establishments that I never read about on messaging boards and groups. Were there assholes keeping secrets so no one crowded their spaces? Probably? But most likely not.

Don’t Be a Lazy Shit – Remember to Take Notes and Photos

You see it’s, very intimidating to go to someplace where no one that you personally know has ever been inside to. We’ve all heard about those scams inside the sex shows at Patpong. We want our cocks shaken down and not our wallets.

Full service massage shop
I was wandering around an area and found this little love nest…

There will be places that you pass by and want to check out the talent. But maybe you got diarrhea and have to hurry back to your hotel room. When you’re outside again you forgot where you saw the shop as most look the same.

You’ve got yourself a smart phone so be a smartie boy and use it to take photos and notes.

Today, there are new sex bars and happy ending massage shops still opening up. When I see a new one, I’ll go in, ask for prices, check out the joint and decided if I want to stay and spend some cash.

If they ask my name I just tell them my name is Art Vandaelay. Just in case any of these shop owners read my blogs.

After seeing a line up of not so pretty faces, I just politely excuse myself, say goodbye and head out the door. If I find one I’d like to bang against a wall I’ll pay.

Never feel pressured to spend your hard earned cash. Remember that.

Don’t Do As I Say, Do As I Do

If you read the comments on my blog posts you’ll often come across questions asking me for advice about massage shops that I’ve never reviewed on this blog.

I have been inside every single go go bar, naughty massage parlor and soapy massage in the major red light districts of Thailand, at least once.

If I’ve never written a review about any particular establishment, it’s because I didn’t have so many positive things to write about. That doesn’t necessarily mean I do not recommend the joint. I don’t like shitting on people’s businesses. Not unless the establishment absolutely deserves it or is asking for a negative review.

People might think I’m getting paid by massage shops to write glowing reviews. That’s not true at all. No one can afford me. I’m keeping it that way.

I always recommend everyone to go and check out places on their own. Even if I don’t like a certain place, it doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy it. So go in and take a peek for yourselves

And since I have a lot of time here I always go back to places that didn’t do anything for me the first time. You never know, things change. Fat chicks out. Skinny girls with big titties in.

I’m always willing to  give the establishments second chances and more to impress me.

7 Myths about Thailand Red Light Districts

7 Myths About Thailand’s Sex Industry Busted

blog, go go bars, Happy Ending Massage, tantric massage 25 Comments

Here’s another essential read for all newbies planning a visit to Bangkok’s red light districts. Up until now you’ve been googling for the best go go bars, blow job bars and and where all the hotels with Thai hookers are.

And no, I’m no mind reader. Because those were the same exact questions I had in my brain too. There were quite a few myths about the country’s sex industry floating out there that concerned me. And back then, there wasn’t as much info about Thailand’s sex industry as there are today.

Also maybe you’re smarter than I and better equipped to differentiate the bullshit. I mean, there were quite a few myths about visiting Bangkok at that time that seemed plausible.

Managing Your Expectations

When I first visited Thailand all those years ago, I had some really crazy expectations when it came to paying Thai prostitutes for sex. Because before all the information about Bangkok’s red light districts came to light on this here internet, I went by stories and hearsay from friends that went before me. A lot of word of mouth information from my friends got me all psyched up and excited for my first visit.

I was told Thai hookers would go around hotel rooms, knocking on doors to give you a chocolate mint and a blow job. If you’re outside and see a mango tree with ten mangos there’s a hooker camped beneath it.

I read on an old internet forum that I could find girls offering cheap blow jobs inside barber shops. As well has restaurants where girls feed you spicy Thai food while jerking you off. Which actually sounds unsanitary. What if you shot your jizz into your bowl of rice? But those existed about 15 years ago but not anymore.

Overall the stories and short previews my colleagues told me through word of mouth peaked my interest. Get a blow job inside a seedy bar. Awesome, where do I go sign up? She sucks you, while you suck a beer.

There were plenty of strange stores, especially these 7 myths about Bangkok’s red light districts that you can forget about and enjoy your first visit.

1. A Line of Thai Virgins Waiting, Just for You

During my late 20’s, growing up where I came from we only had rumors of Asians in my area. So the guys that visited Thailand came back with stories of having sex with young and beautiful Thai virgins. I got turned on and excited. I mean I love beaches too. But pussy even more.

I was in the midst of my prime. Horny as hell and in a shitty relationship. So telling me I could hook up with Thai virgins lining up to meet me? Shut up and take my money.

I was so desperate inside. I would’ve crawled through a floor of broken glass naked, followed by a long shower of ice cold lemon juice. Just to get a blow job by a pretty Thai girl.

I mean, we’ve had one prostitute in my home town, Ms. Boswick. But she was an hour away and twice my age. She had a reputation for great blow jobs though. I later found out her secret technique was she had no teeth. She’d pop out her dentures secretly before giving paying customers head. But, she ain’t no virgin. So I never had the pleasure.

So when I found out about Thai virgins waiting for me to pop them cherries, I bought a ticket to Thailand and never looked back.

I got off that airplane tarmac and went hunting around for cherries on the streets of Bangkok.

Thai virginsBo – My First Thai Prostitute

I still remember her to this day. Her name was Bo. She was short and slim. Beautiful flawless tanned skin. Almond shaped face, beautiful doe eyes and a Hollywood smile.

She told me she came from a small village called Isaan.

Isaan?

Never heard of the place at the time. I thought Thailand was just Bangkok. She could’ve said Mars and I would’ve been just as interested in her titties. But I wanted to get down to the brass tacks.

I asked her if she’s a virgin. She hesitated, looked at me like I’m something stupid and said yes. I pumped my fist out of excitement. I never popped a cherry before.

Oy – My Second Thai Prostitute

After Bo I was looking out to bust more cherries. That’s when I met Oy, another cute Thai honey from Ayutthaya.

Ayutthawhat?

Used to be the ancient capital of Thailand. Beautiful little city, go visit.

Anyways, like Bo, when asked Oil told me she’s a virgin too. Holy shit, was I on a roll!

Bell – My Third Thai Prostitute

After Oil, I met Bell at the old Siam City Hotel in Bangkok Petchburi road. It’s torn down now but there were shit load of Thai hookers inside the hotel restaurant back then. Just like my first two ever encounters with two “virgin” prostitutes, Bell also said she has her hymen intact.

But I didn’t see any hymen while I was between her legs. I read women can lose them just by riding bicycles. Whatever.

Okay, so you get the picture. All of them weren’t virgins. It’s an up-sell method to convince horny guys to pay more. And yeah, it works. Thai hookers can tell when guys are desperate for sex. They can smell it off of your sweaty skin like you just had a 24 hour alcohol binge. You can look at it as bold face lie. But they see it as a way to fulfill customers fantasies so they tell that little white lie.

They know that once you jizz all over their titties you’re not going to be pissed at them after the fact anyways.

Bottom line is fellas, you ain’t gonna find Thai virgins. Don’t matter who tells you. Not unless you invent a time machine to hop back to your late teens. On top of that, invent a machine that turns you into a Thai dude so you can score big time with Thai university girls.

Otherwise, this ones just a big myth. So let this one go my friends, let it go.

2. Hot Thai Hookers Knocking on Hotel Doors

I heard this one from a couple of guys I met inside a beer bar in Patpong on my second trip to Bangkok. They heard it from other guys and so on and so forth. 20 years ago at the time, I thought anything was possible in Thailand’s sex industry.

At the time, I didn’t have any idea that I had to bring my own Thai hookers back to hotels in Bangkok also. I didn’t even know what a bar girl friendly hotel was until I started getting charged extra money at the reception desk.

There are lots of part time and full time Thai freelancers soliciting on the floors of Bangkok’s hotel bars and clubs. You can even find ordinary Thai girls looking to meet foreigners as well.

I’ve stayed in cheap hotels, mid-range hotels and 5 star international hotels. I suppose if there could be a chance that Thai hookers are knocking around hotel doors it would be at the cheap hotels due to lax security.

And chances are it wouldn’t be hot Thai girls on the other side of the door. But men pretending to be women.

I still get emails from guys asking me which hotels in Bangkok have Thai prostitutes. From what I gleaned from the names of the emails it’s mostly Asian guys.

There are quite a few places in Bangkok where where it’s a mixed soapy massage and “hotel” wrapped together. These places are popular with all male tour groups from China. I never wrote any reviews about those places because it’s not that special.

I do know for a fact that there are hotels in Hong Kong, Shanghai, Macau and also Malaysia where guys can find pussy, right within the hotel with bellboys acting as the go between. I mean literally just call reception and up comes a line up of girls to your doorstep. Like you’re ordering a cheeseburger and fries. Perhaps this is where all of this is coming from.

If you’re staying at any of the red light districts in Bangkok you won’t get that type of service delivery service from the hotel.

Pattaya’s red light district however has a few hotel properties with a direct link to the city’s sex industry. Because there are a few go go bars in Pattaya that operate on premise with hotels like Secrets Pattaya Hotel and the adult only Penthouse Hotel Pattaya.

Now, if there are any off chances that you’re jerking off inside your hotel room and there’s a knock at your door and you invite a hooker inside your room, you’re not just inviting a chick with a dick but some kind of different trouble.

3. Waking Up in a Bathtub Full of Ice Cubes with a Kidney Kidnapped

This one honestly scared the shit out of me when I heard about this. Who wants to have an organ stolen while overseas!?

When I was telling my officemates about my first exciting trip to Thailand solo, there was this one guy one cubicle away from me telling to watch out for kidney snatchers. He was one of the smartest guys that I knew at the time. A little weird but never made any jokes or off-color comments. He was always by the book so I took his advice seriously.

With all the years I’ve been here, I can say one thing for sure. It’s never happened to any foreigner. It’s a great backstory for a fictional movie though. I can imagine Liam Neeson as the protagonist fighting his way through a mob of goons to get back his liver.

But in reality, it’s never happened in Thailand. Or at least it was never reported if it did. Which would be odd because if this sort of shit happened it would be a huge deal all over the news. Foreign embassies would be issuing advisory warnings left and right to warn their citizens.

I’m not blind to the fact that theres organ harvesting going on in some places. Here in Thailand you shouldn’t be worried about it though.

Clean the Nipples

But there’s a side story to the stolen kidney myth to keep in mind if you don’t want to get robbed. And that is to watch your drink especially if you’re with Thai freelancers. While inside your hotel room they could slip a pill into your drink and wait to rob you of cash and valuables.

I’ve read news article about Thai prostitutes lacing their nipples with drugs. So this has happened. However, it’s not happening at an epidemic scale. In any case wipe them nipples. I include it during foreplay by wetting my fingers and apply them on nipples like I’m winding a wrist watch.

4. Thai Prostitutes are Nasty, Nasty Girls

For all the millennial males reading this, you have no idea how good you’ve got it. 20 years ago, I had to buy, borrow or steal porn from my friends.

I had stacks and stacks of adult DVD’s taking up space in my closet, that I kept locked whenever people came over to visit. I was a nervous wreck whenever anyone stood too close to my closet, trying to remember if I locked the door or not.

I learned a lot from porn actresses especially the girls from Butt Berserker volumes 12-19. Mainly, that the porno actresses in the sex industry are nasty, nasty women.

I wanted to butter up and whip cream a pretty Thai girl and just go body sliding all over her tits and ass. Which never came to fruition.

I mean how the fuck am I going to explain it all to hotel housekeeping. I’d be paying for soiled bedsheets every single night.

Besides, do you know how expensive butter and canned whip cream is in Thailand?

Thai hookers don’t even like to sweat during a sex session. It messes with their makeup. And takes a lot of time to put back on properly.

Want to shoot jizz all over her face? Better tell her first so she has time to cover her eyes. Cause if you don’t it’ll ruin her fake eyelashes and mascara. Which is one surefire way to piss them off.

Thai hookers have limits to the deeds they perform. For the really freaky stuff be prepared to pay a little extra.

Threesomes

Got a buddy with you and planning a 2 guy one girl threesome for the ol’ double penetration?

It’s not going to happen in one night, especially with prettier Thai hookers. Though you’ll have a much better chance finding a 2 girl one guy three-way without a doubt.

Point is, don’t expect all Thai women working in the sex industry to perform extreme sex acts. I mean, there are specialized happy ending massage shops like Exotic Massage for a golden shower. Or getting whipped like a misbehaving slave at Analisa Massage.

Bareback Blow Jobs and Cum in Mouth

Bareback blow jobs and cum in mouth is not a guarantee.

I repeat, bareback blow jobs and cum in mouth is not a guarantee.

If you want to jizz inside her mouth, you’ve gotta ask beforehand. Rather than find out she won’t allow it when you’re all naked and ready to roll. Don’t be shy about asking. They’ve heard it all. And besides they already know you’re a pervert. No point in hiding it.

Getting Rim Jobs in Thailand

There’s nothing nastier than getting a girl’s tongue tasting a rectum. Rim jobs are popular. After writing about my experiences inside Dream Heaven Massage on Sukhumvit Soi 33 I’ve been getting a hella’ lot of comments and emails asking me about a particular rim job girl.

Compared to the rest of Asia’s sex industry, rim jobs are rare in Thailand. Thanks to our friends from the land of the Rising Sun, many Thai girls started offering rim jobs as part of their repertoire for Japanese clientele.

There is one Japanese themed happy ending massage shop called Akane (review coming soon) also on Sukhumvit Soi 33 with some ladies that’ll play with your poop shoot with their tongue.

Today rim job service in Bangkok is dwindling but you’ll come across Thai girls that won’t mind licking the corn out of your asshole. With the right price.

But would you want a Thai girlfriend after finding out she ate ass?

5. Thai People are Friendly and Forgiving

Most seasoned veterans to the red light districts of Thailand know how it really is. A lot of guide books tell you Thais are non confrontational. Always smiling and super friendly. But they’re reporting about Thai hospitality in hotels, spas and fancy restaurants. About the places honeymooners and retiring geezers frequent.

Now, for go go bars, full service massage shops, soapies and after hour clubs in Bangkok it’s generally the same. Service with a smile.

Until you behave like an asshole.

Like going too far and touching bar girls girls that don’t want it, for one reason or another. I saw a few backpacker type guys get slapped a few times because they kept touching passing bar girls’ titties.

The first slap came from the bar girls. The other few preceding slaps came from the bouncers that materialize out of thin air. Ever get hit by guys trained in muay Thai? I did and still have a limp to this day.

I swear Thai bouncers pop out of nowhere like genie out of a lamp. Hell, there could even be trapdoors beneath the bar floors where they workout, practicing leg kicks on concrete pylons, eat boiled eggs and waiting for a foreigner to get out of line.

For the newbies I understand when you’re here you think you can get away with a lot of things. Or perhaps some take it too far viewing Thai prostitutes like inanimate playthings. My advice is don’t.

You won’t win even if you’ve got fight training. They’ve got the numbers and it’s their territory. Sure, it’s a playground for adults. But there are still rules.

6. The Ol’ Walk of Shame

Okay so this is one last myth you shouldn’t be worried about. A lot of first timers think as a foreigner, they’ll look bad paying Thai hookers for sex in the eyes of Thai locals. Particularly hotel staff when they see you taking different prostitutes back to your room, every night.

Thai men pay for hookers too. Even married Thai men fool around with prostitutes. And they don’t give a rats ass what everyone else thinks about them, even when it’s their home turf.

A lot of guys curious about Thai shemales are also hesitant to be seen with one for obvious reasons. To be honest, you’ll probably get more dirty looks from foreigners when you’re with a ladyboy. In that case you can always go visit a ladyboy prostitute that can play host to avoid your own perceived embarrassment.

Why give a shit? I think as long as you’re doing no harm you shouldn’t feel embarrassed about being with a sex worker. We’re not going to be here forever. So enjoy the ride!

7. It’s No Fun if You’re Going Alone

The only way you’re not going to have fun is if you’re a complete introvert. Sure, having a group of your best buddies along in the red light districts of Thailand could be great fun. But it’s not necessary. I know and see plenty of solo travelers having a great time, if not a much better time than a group.

I know a lot of you will be like nervous shits before you step off that plane you arrived onto Bangkok. But there’s nothing to worry about. Manage your expectations. The red light districts of Thailand are safe with plenty of like minded sex tourists surrounding you. You’ll see. So don’t worry and have fun!

How to Set Up a 2 Guy 1 Girl Threesome

Rob and Roy Shows You the Proper Way to Set Up a Threesome

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two guys crossing swordsI went into extensive lengths on planning a threesome in Bangkok (2 girls and 1 guy) already. But, what if you’ve got a good buddy you don’t mind crossing swords with a Thai hooker spread eagle in the middle?

Well, that’s what I’m going to cover here on this post. I’m going to cover how to approach Thai girls on the subject of getting spit roasted. How much you’re going to have to pay? With the help of my two close friends, Rob and Roy.

Personally, I’ve never had a two guy one girl threesome. If there’s gotta by an extra person I prefer it to be a full fledged woman.

Now I also want to clarify, Rob and Roy are straight heterosexuals and have never put their dicks in each other’s mouths an anus. They have admitted though that their dicks have touched. I mean how else is a girl going to suck two dicks at the same time?

First, a Bit More About Rob and Roy’s Background

I’m not one to believe in fate. But one can easily be converted after hearing this one. For the history buffs you might’ve gleaned from the names that Rob and Roy are Scots. Which they are.

Rob met Roy on a flight from the UK to India to Thailand 8 years ago. They were seated right next to each other the whole way and started talking through the entire journey. They discovered both are the same age, live in the same city, went to the same schools and never went on to university.

Both worked in the construction business. At the time different companies. Today they started their own successful little construction business and can afford more time to fool around.

Roy is just a few months older than Rob. If you looked at both you can see similarities. Not exactly twins. Like their mother went sleeping around with different men in pubs kind of way.

After a year of getting to really know each other well, becoming best friends and becoming travel buddies, Roy talked about having a three way with a Thai girl. He asked Rob if he wanted to be his tag team partner. While they were right inside a go go bar watching a little bar girl slap her ass in front of their faces.

Roy agreed without a hesitant beat.

Thai Hookers are Not as Freaky as You Think They Are…

In the real world of Thai hookers, not all are as freaky or sexually adventurous as you’d all like to think. I mean sure, after logging thousands and thousands of hours of porn you’d think taking a shit while getting a blow job at the same time is normal. It’s not.

Anal Explosive Delights Volumes 1-36 feature paid porn actors. And they get paid well by porn film industry to discharge excrements with smiles on their faces. I don’t care what others may say but nobody and I mean nobody enjoys getting shit on.

Outside of the porno film industry, in the privacy of a bedroom or a hotel room there would be a lot of vomiting and teeth brushing.

It’s not so far off to believe that Thai prostitutes will be extremely resistant to the idea of having two strange guys go at them at the same time. Sometime money isn’t the factor. Well, it is and it isn’t.

I’ll let Rob and Roy explain.

Rob and Roy’s First Attempt

What you’re about to read next is going to sound extremely absurd. But it happened and probably happens more than people like to admit. It’s so true it can’t be made up.

The first time both idiots went looking for threesome prospects they ended empty handed for a month. They went to the hottest looking Thai girls in the bars and clubs offering 15,000THB for a few hours. They just wanted to see if any of the hot girls would bite. 15k was the max they wanted to spend anyways so they just threw it out there to test the waters.

After quite a lot of trial and error they finally scored. What did they do this time differently?

They went for the low hanging fruit. Rob and Roy made the mistake of shooting for the sky. They went to the hottest looking girls they could find. Hot Thai girls can make money without experiencing double penetration.

Then, during a super wild night of tequila and whiskey Roy got up against a regular Thai bar girl and asked if she’d like to have sex with him and his buddy Rob. He said he’d give her 15,000THB. She said yes.

Rob was wasted too and he jumped with joy when Roy said he found their first threesome participant. The three zipped to the hotel room and they couldn’t even remember taking a shower. Matter of fact, they couldn’t even remember who went in first. Or even if they had condoms!

And when Roy woke up with a splitting headache the first thing when his eye finally focused was a dick next to his face. It was a brown colored uncircumcised dick with short curly black pubes. Roy has never seen Rob’s dick at this point. But Rob is pasty white just like Roy. And Rob is red headed.

Turns out there’s an extra dick in the party.

Failing is Just a Stepping Stone…

But a dick in your face is a dick in your fucking face. There’s no sugar coating it I keep reminding Roy.

Rob and Roy didn’t go ape shit. I joke about these two clowns a lot but I respect that this step back did not deter their threesome goal. They even had the class to take the ladyboy out for breakfast at the hotel.

They asked the ladyboy one important question.

Who else got fucked in the ass?

The ladyboy was sober the whole ordeal and told them they all took turns fucking her ass and getting sucked. That was it. They were relieved and didn’t take it as hard as you’d think. They told me they were disappointed but happy they learned something from the ladyboy.

Also Roy said he felt queasy knowing he kissed the ladyboy. After she sucked Rob’s cock.

They learned a lot from this particular ladyboy. She recommended that both should take it easy when it comes to dealing with real girls on the subject of threesomes. What they should do is to take it slow. They’ve got to cultivate some sort of trust with the ladies they want to have a threesome experience with.

Rob and Roy Hit Pay Threesome Dirt

After taking notes from the dude with tits they fucked in the ass, Rob and Roy learned three things to up their threesome game:

  1. Go for the low hanging fruit
  2. Build trust
  3. Don’t get drunk

1 and 3 is easy. Number 2 will take time. Under the ladyboy’s recommendation, either Rob or Roy could pick one girl they both like. Then, one of them will have to build a trust relationship first. It can be done simply by paying them for sex on a consistent basis and being a total gentleman.

So they got to look for girls that aren’t too hot and desirable. Because beautiful sexy Thai girls can command a higher premium and be pickier about the guys that fuck them.

While there are plenty of regular looking Thai sex workers to pick and choose from which narrows the field, yet increases the odds of scoring a threesome. But the key is to take it slow.

For example, Rob could take her out to a movie, nice dinner, go look at puppies and kittens together.  And then go fuck in between while doing all those things for a week.

The next week, its Roy’s turn. He does the same exact thing. Rinse and repeat a few times.

She’ll become so comfortable and at ease with Rob and Roy that she can easily put her guard down with the both of them together inside the same room, naked with erections.

And it worked. The first time they asked a Thai bar girl they worked on for a few weeks together went so smooth. She didn’t even bat an eyelash. It was because she’s totally comfortable with both of them.

Okay it’s not fast and quick. There is a chance that you can find a Thai hooker that will bang two guys at one time, just like that.

Rob and Roy knew that. However, if you want to have sex with better looking Thai hookers, you’re gonna have to do what Rob and Roy did.

Ugly cheap Thai hookers could probably care less about banging 2, 3 or 4 guys at the same time.

Decent look Thai hookers however have a little more pride. But, they won’t go cheap either. You’re going to have to do some price negotiating. Rob and Roy splits 10,000THB for a few hours. Which is great money for Thai hookers.

I’ve been invited…

Rob and Roy even asked me once if I wanted to be the third man in the party. They told me they already found a girl that agreed to a 3 on 1. They tell me it’s an incredible turn on to put their dicks in a girls mouth. To watch another man bang a girl and joining in. I politely declined.

Honestly, even if I was the odd man out, how the hell is a lady going to fit three dicks in her mouth?

Whoever is in the middle is going to get his dick seriously fucked up. I mean just imagine it. Her mouths fully stretched. There’s no damn space. The middle dick is going to run straight up against her teeth. By the end of that session the middle cock is going to have scratch marks like it was run through with a garden rake. Thanks but no thanks fellas!

Review of the Legendary Angel Massage Bangkok

Angels Massage Review Bangkok

blog, body to body, Happy Ending Massage , , , 48 Comments

In the industry of Bangkok’s full service sex massage parlors, the name Angel Massage is legendary. It’s been in business for over 10 years and I refer to them as the godfather of massage brothels in Phrom Phong red light district.

Just imagine the amount of hand jobs, blow jobs and full fuck service that occurred within walls of Angel Massage.

They are one of the first brothels to take advantage of widespread exposure on the internet when businesses started creating websites. Just take a look at Angel Massage’s retro late 90’s website and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

For the longest time Angels Massage had reputation for the hottest young Thai massage girls. And also for employing the most massage ladies, boasting over 50 girls at any given time.

They still boast a large line of sexy Thai girls today so I’ve been recommending small bachelor party groups to make sure and check them for an insane stag party

Location of Angel Massage is its key to success…

Just a 10 minute walk from Phrom Phong BTS station exit #4, Angels Massage is located on the tail end of the L shaped Sukhumvit Soi 24/1. Easy to find and easy to get to if you’re staying near a sky train station.

Though there are a few nice guest friendly hotels in the area like Arize Sukhumvit Hotel and 24 Inn near many happy ending massage shops.

Back to Angel Massage

So, I haven’t been to Angel Massage in ages. A full year to be exact. Because today, there are so many other full service massage shops in Bangkok to fool around with sexy Thai massage girls.

When I went back in this week to make this review it felt like I was going back to see an old friend. I truly felt that way because back then, I visited Angels Massage frequently. I even had a hair cut inside for the hell of it. There’s a tiny hair salon in the lobby but it’s not really for the public. It’s meant for the massage ladies that worked inside. I got drunk, couldn’t speak a lick of Thai back then. I guess because I spent so much money inside they indulged me with a hair cut.

Just this past week I went in early, about 3pm. It’s quiet by then, but should have enough choice pick of girls available. Don’t rely on their website gallery. It’s not updated and hasn’t been for long while.

When you enter the mamasan will show you their massage prices. Now, keep in mind Angel Massage prices on their website only shows the price for massage only.

A Word About Angel Massage Prices

One of the reasons why I’m writing a review about Angel Massage is because there are too many guys out there sending me emails asking me if the prices on their website include sex.

There was one guy that kept asking me if I was sure. He’d never been to Thailand before. And he kept asking me if I could confirm that Angel’s Massage prices included sex or not. I didn’t bother replying. If he thinks a 1 hour oil massage for 400B includes sex I think he should just stay home and jerk off.

For this visit I chose a 1 hour and 30 minute gel massage which cost 800B as it says on their website. However, you have to pay an extra 1500B for full service, which comes out to 2300B which is on par with most of the happy ending massage shops in the area like Boss Massage.

So, whichever service you plan to choose at Angel Massage just add on another 1500B. Once you pay the full amount to the mamasan you’ll see her give your chosen massage girl 1500B.

It doesn’t matter if you’re only planning to get a hand job or a blow job. It’s still going to cost you 1500B.

I paid an additional 200B for the VIP room, which is basically a room with a bathtub for a bit of soapy body to body massage action. For that day, for some reason I wanted to play hide my weasel between a hot Thai massage girls titties.

Choosing a Girl at Angel Massage

I’m sure Angel’s has a photo album of all their working girls. But, as I always say, best to ask to see all of them upfront. There’s a plastic sliding door to the right of the counter and once the mamasan signals to the girls a customer wants a look see the door opens to another room with a wrap around sofa.

Seated inside at the time were about a dozen ladies. All were done up with heavy make up and of course beautiful hair. I was in heaven. They don’t call this place Angel Massage for nothing.

Not that I’m also saying all of the girls inside were super hot. But all were decent looking. I admit I had a bit of a hard time picking one.

When this happens, I usually try and pick the slimmest girl. Which I did and let’s just call her Mia since I don’t like blowing up the names of girls I banged.

Up to the VIP room with Mia

VIP rooms are a little bigger than the regular shower rooms. There’s a bathtub inside which didn’t take forever to fill. Angel Massage added these rooms about 5 years ago when they renovated. Which was good because I remember before their rooms were really old and shitty.

While the tub was filling Mia asked if I wanted a Thai massage. I was already down to my birthday suit so why not? Her massage wasn’t that great but I know time had to be wasted for a little while for the tub to fill.

Angel Massage Room Review
VIP rooms are on the second floor…

She was still fully clothed in her tight yellow t-shirt and white jeans. Which is the uniform of Angel Massage girls. I asked if she could take off her clothes for a bit of foreplay. She obliged and took off her shirt and her bra.

And I started playing around with her titties and nipples. After all these years, this shit never gets boring to me. She must’ve thought I was retarded. She just might be right.

When the tub was a quarter full Mia signaled it was time to get into the tub. And I gleefully did as I watched her take off her jeans and revealed a nice shapely ass. There were no stretch marks on her tummy.

Playing Hide the Weasel

With my body clean from a good wash by Mia’s gentle hands in the bathtub she started a body to body massage action. With a focus on my cock between her perky tits. It was so enjoyable I had to ask if she could do it for another 5 minutes, which she smiled and obliged. What a good sport. Or maybe she felt sorry for me thinking I was really retarded.

After 30 minutes messing around in the bathtub it was time to get on the bed for a gel massage. I would’ve been happy enough to spend the entire time in the tub. But once I twisted my wrist while having sex in a bathtub years ago. So I never did it again.

Mia popped out the gel and proceeded with a gel massage. It’s not the best most sensual massage, which is one of the reasons why I prefer tantric massage which I can easily find on Sukhumvit Soi 23.

But there’s a full length mirror on the wall by the bed. I watched Mia’s gorgeous naked body on top of mine massaging me with her upper body.

She looked like a sleek cheetah riding on top of an old walrus.

By the time she asked me to turn over I was all ready to go. She started working on my nipples but I was waiting to see if she’ll blow me with a condom or not. I was hoping for a bareback blow job. But my hopes were dashed when she broke out a condom and shrink wrapped my weasel before blowing.

When that happens a blow job is a bit pointless. Because you can get bareback blow jobs easily in plenty of other shops in Bangkok.

So I asked Mia to get on all fours and I rode her until I popped. From my topside point of view Mia has an incredible hour glass figure.

From the mirror view point I looked like a walrus banging a cheetah.

Angel Massage – Still Worth Visiting After All These Years

Okay, so you were wondering how many times you can pop. You get only one. I know, a real bummer, but it’s been that way ever since they opened their doors.

And they’re still popular with a solid reputation to keep them running for another 10 years.

Their Thai massage girls are hot. The rooms are clean and the rates for a massage and sex is very reasonable. Angels Massage is recommended!

Too Shy to Visit Thai Ladyboys

Thai Ladyboy Guide for the Shy Newbies

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I’ve got two answers for guys interested in hooking up with Thai ladyboys: 1) I’m not into ladyboys 2) I can still help you.

When it comes to the subject of Thai chicks with dicks, or rather dudes with tits, I know that the information I have on Thai ladyboys on this website is miniscule.

During my green years inside Bangkok’s red light districts I avoided katoeys or ladyboys like the plague. I just found that particular lifestyle disturbing. It was so weird to sit next to a dude, dressed like a woman with fake tits. With his cock tucked neatly between his buttocks. And if a ladyboy propositioned me I just give the ol’ stiff arm and moved along.

Today, if I was enjoying a cold beer at a bar inside Nana Plaza and a ladyboy sat next to me and initiated a conversation I’ll have a nice friendly chat. But no, I’ll absolutely under no circumstances no matter how drunk I would never invite a Thai ladyboy back to my place to play dueling swords.

But, Playing Around Bangkok’s Red Light Districts You Might Make Mistakes

I got a blowjob from one or two (not at the same time) though from katoeys. They had their dicks surgically removed and thus considered post ops. That’s my excuse. When that happens, it’s kind of hard to tell the difference. Until you take a closer look.

Which is still difficult especially when you’ve got beer goggles. The temptation is there. But no matter how you spin it in your mind. No matter how beautiful and feminine Thai ladyboys look, they are still men. There’s no going around changing DNAs.

Thai ladyboy incall service
Inside a condo of a Thai ladyboy. Courtesy of Roger…

So getting my dick sucked by a couple of well disguised Thai guys was as far as my experiences goes when it comes to ladyboys. Took me awhile to get over it. I only cried in the shower for a few hours. Then went back out to look for some real guaranteed pussy. Then all was right as rain again in the world.

Jim Hunt at Your Service

I get a lot of emails from guys asking me about hooking up with Thai ladyboys in Bangkok and Pattaya’s red light districts.

One example is Roger from Down Under. I’ve never met him personally but we’ve been communicating through emails about his planned trip to have sex with ladyboys and play around with todgers. This went on for 6 months. And he’s sharing the information here with you all.

One thing in common about Roger and other guys that want to get it on with Thai ladyboys is they’re shy about it. They know how they will be perceived in their home country if they are discovered cavorting with transgenders.

Many first timers curious about ladyboys feel the same exact way here in Bangkok and Pattaya. Even when there isn’t anyone around the same time zone that will recognize them. They’re worried that total strangers will judge them. Look at them or get called a fudge packing cock gobbler. When I told Roger names of ladyboy go go bars he should visit he told me he was too shy to even walk into one.

One of my expat buddies totally enamored with ladyboys in Bangkok even offered to show Roger the ropes. Only to have him turn the offer down because he’s too afraid. Most likely he was too shy.

Incall service ladyboy Bangkok
Incall service is on a very personal level. You’ll be right inside their place of residence…

Okay, Getting Nervous Around Thai Ladyboys is a Legitimate Reason

Personally, all those years ago the first time I saw a foreigner with a ladyboy I did a lot of staring too. And yes I judged. Not out loud. But in my mind I called them a couple of fudge packers. I even felt weird buying a pack of cigarettes from a ladyboy inside 7-Elevens.

Again, after spending a long while here I’m not fazed by the sight of men pretending to be women. But if I was a prejudiced asshole back then I can imagine lots and lots of foreigners not accustomed to ladyboys think and felt the same way I did right at this very moment.

Because today, there’s a shit load more Thai ladyboys working in and around the red light districts. And the options to meet Thai transgenders plenty and easy. But, if you want to cavort with a ladyboy privately then here’s your answer.

Roger doesn’t think he’s gay. He really thinks ladyboys are simply ladies…

Ladyboy Incall Service is the Answer

Okay, so you want to have sex with Thai ladyboys but you don’t want anyone to know. Which takes ladyboy go go bars and walking up and down between Nana and Soi Cowboy out of the equation.

So, Incall service is the answer for all the nervous nellies. Incall is opposite outcall in escort service speak. Just in case any of you idiots can’t figure it out.

More Thai ladyboy prostitutes provide customers incall service, compared to real Thai girl prostitutes. Real girls are more cautious about total strangers coming up to their private residence. Who can blame them? There are lots of psychos out there. If I was a Thai hooker I wouldn’t want some psychopath to strangle me to death with my panties and skin me to make himself a corset.

Chat text between ladyboy and customer
Some Thai ladyboys give a bit of a discount already considering it’s incall service…

Ladyboys however are more fearless. Because they’re still dudes and they know it. And better suited for fending off an attacker.

I recommended Roger from Down Under to search around transgender escort websites like ts-dating.com because he can check out the profiles, complete with phone numbers and messaging. Almost every single Thai ladyboy has Whatsapp loaded on their phones.

Roger also recommends hook up apps like tinder.com to privately contact Thai ladyboys and find out where they live and how much they charge.

Here’s How Much Roger Pays for Incall Service with Thai Ladyboys

The magic number here for incall service with ladyboys seems to be 2500THB. At least according to Roger’s experience. He’s comfortable paying 2500THB for an hour. But Roger says many times the ladyboys let him stay past an hour. Sometimes up to 2 hours. Not that they have sex for the entire 2 hours. After he’s done he likes to sit and chat with ladyboys.  And they never minded or rushed him out. Unless they had somewhere else to go or when a customer is coming over.

Ladyboy incall service text chat
Look how much of a pro Roger is…

Ladyboy Incall Rates Are Flexible… Most of the Time

Roger says most Thai katoeys ask upfront 3000THB. But you can talk it down to 2500B. He followed my advice about making jokes when asking for discounts. And it works. Most of the time that is. Some ladyboys won’t budge. But no worries, Roger says when he has the urge to lick ladyboy balls he never fails to find a hot ladyboy accepting 25o0THB rates.

But… There’s Always a But…

Roger says whenever you’re going for incall service there’s still a chance you’ll be seen. But you’ll most likely be seen by Thais which really don’t give a shit if you’re hooking up with a ladyboy.

Because most residences in Bangkok have some kind of key card security system. Whether it’s a condo, or an apartment complex, entry inside requires a key card.

There’s two things that can happen. One, the ladyboy will come downstairs to get you. Two, you wait for another resident with a key card to get in or someone to get out.

Obviously, the first option is the one that with a possibility of getting scene with a ladyboy together. Roger now is to a point where he’s little bit more carefree now since he’s been visiting ladyboys now on incall service exclusively.

More Nuggets of Ladyboy Knowledge from Roger

From Roger’s experience, the best looking ladyboys available for incall service live closer to Sukhumvit and Silom neighborhoods of Bangkok. He says if you go to a transgender escort website like tsdating.com and if you find out that a particular ladyboy lives far out in the boonies there’s a good chance the ladyboy is really ugly.

He’s gone far for incall visits outside of Bangkok, lured by hot photos of certain Thai ladyboys. When he gets there the actual ladyboy looks different than the photos. Ladyboys are masters at photo manipulation filters.

So he highly recommends taking a good look at the photos. If there’s too many highlights and filters on the pictures there’s a 100% you’re going to waste your time. Which is why he mainly sticks with ladyboys that live close within Bangkok.

Thinking About Having a Thai Mistress

Thai Mistresses – Lessons from Suchat the Butcher

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Here I’m going to touch upon the subject of sponsoring Thai girlfriend. Or keeping a mistress in Thailand. Whatever you want to call it. You’ll learn about the cost and what to expect from one of my best friend with five Thai girlfriends.

He’s a married Thai guy that I’ve known for awhile with lots to teach about paid relationships with Thai girls.

These are also valuable advice for guys looking to sponsor a Thai girlfriend, or two. Or dare I say three Thai faen or gik at one time.

Difference Between a Thai Faen (แฟน) and Thai Gik (กิ๊ก)

Faen is a multi-purpose word. Depending on the context of usage, it means wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend and lover. Doesn’t matter what type of gender relationship, you can still refer to a ladyboy as a faen.

Gik is a loose term for fuck buddy. For foreigners we can have a gik relationship with a Thai. But nothing is really free for us here, right?

For Thai guys they really do get to fuck horny Thai girls for free. What do you expect? It’s their territory.

Good News is, it’s Affordable(ish)

Sponsoring Thai girlfriends cost about 15,000BKeeping mistresses is Thailand is very common. I know guys from all over the world that have at least one mistress at one point or another. Because it’s affordable.

Not cheap.

But manageable for most guys living on a decent pension or passive incomes.

I’ve had my fair share of mistresses in Thailand even when I was married. Hey, I never said I was a saint.

I could only deal with one Thai girlfriend on the side though. I have no idea how Thai guys manage more than two at one time. Thai guys have it down to an art form.

If you’re considering having a mistress in Thailand, consider some of Suchat the Butcher’s advice. For 30 years Suchat has learned a lot of mistakes about sponsoring Thai girls.

Not too shabby for a guy that looks like he should be unloading coconut trucks for a living.

Introducing Suchat the Butcher

I became good friends with my local butcher shop owner named Suchat. But he’s not just any normal Thai butcher you see. This guys got connections with a Thai-French beef supplier. Which is unique since Suchat’s butcher shop is inside a Thai wet market near my home. He’s my hero for that reason alone.

Having mia noi (เมียน้อย) second wife or mistress is common in all levels of Thai social economic level. From poor, to super rich and all the jack asses in between. Yes, there are Thai guys that don’t even have two baht to rub together. Yet miraculously have two Thai wives.

Suchat only has one wife with a bonafide marriage certificate. On the side, he has five mistresses. That’s six women in total he’s taking care of financially.

He doesn’t even have to actively seek out Thai girls. They go to him. Like flies to fresh cut meat (his words, not mine). Even though he’s not considered a handsome guy like me. Though like me, he’s in his early 50’s. Except he’s got a few strands of hair on his head he combs over. He’s 160cm tall and 90kg with Thai tattoos decorating his body from neck to toe.

Wrapped around his head are half a dozen Thai amulets. Some facing the front, and some facing the back for protection against whatever.

A bar Thai men go to drink with hostess girls...
A local joint where Thai men go to drink with hostess girls. Most of the girls working inside are from Lao…

Though Suchat does hang out at local watering holes where guys can pick and choose girls to keep them company. It’s at one of these places where I bumped into Suchat and since then I’ve been learning more ways to get even sleazier in Thailand.

I know keeping a gaggle of Thai women is a monumental task. Sure, having money helps. But dealing with a bunch of needy gold diggers is not easy. Because Thai women are super competitive when it comes to keeping the alpha male.

He still has the stamina to mess around the local brothels though.

15,000 Baht a Month

Besides his wife, 15,000THB is the amount of money Suchat pays each and every one of his kept woman. Of course Suchat has favorites so sometimes he would add a bit extra here and there. But according to Suchat, 15,000THB is the baseline rate he hands out when they agree to be under his mistress.

However, Suchat has to pay for their housing. His wife lives with him at his main residence. He has a few townhomes so he houses a few there. The remaining ladies he rents studio condos for each.

Each condo rental cost 10,000THB including water and electricity. He tells me his ladies always ask for cars. But he thinks women shouldn’t be driving. At least that’s the answer he gives them.

So a base salary of 15,000THB plus roughly 10,000THB for housing. That’s 25,000THB times five mistresses is 125,000THB. Not including all the extra cost.

Sponsoring Thai Girlfriends
I certainly learned a lot from Suchat…

Supply and Demand

Gold digging Thai women have their own version of the rat race. In a country of Buddhist values where modesty is upheld, brand name luxury goods rule supreme. Thai women are obsessed over brand name designer foreign luxury products.

Prada, Louis Vuittons and Chanel brand and many other pompous luxury brand goods are highly prized and valued in the eyes of Thai women. But these items come with a big price tag, especially in Thailand where foreign luxury goods are taxed heavily.

For Thai women with not much going for them except their looks, without a high paying job the quickest way to acquire these goodies is to open their legs in exchange for cash, jewelry or said gifts.

Finding a sugar daddy with free spending cash for ladies in Thailand is a sport. But men like Suchat are not everywhere. And they are spoilt for choices. So Thai women looking for a man to take care of them really have to have their looks work in their favor.

Keeping Peace in the House – Suchat’s Rules

You’re probably wondering how the hell does Suchat keep the peace with the women in his harem. You’d think the catfights would drive him nuts. But he’s learned a lot and even developed 5 laws he lays down on the women that agree to his demands.

Suchat’s 5 Rules

  1. Leave if you don’t like the arrangement.
  2. Start a fight with the other girls and you’re out.
  3. Don’t call me. I’ll call you. Otherwise leave a text message.
  4. You’ll get an agreed amount allowance. Don’t ask for more.
  5. If you get pregnant without permission, get out but give me the baby over.

Suchat sounds like such a dick don’t he?

Well that’s because he started keeping minor wives since he was 25 years old. He’s picked the habit up from his dad which I once met before he past away. Suchat’s dad had seven wives. Unlike junior, senior didn’t have to lay down rules. He just beats the women if they get step an inch out of line.

In the span of 30 years Suchat’s picked up a lot of knowledge in keeping peace in the house. Including his sanity. Because today he’s too old for drama. And as a youngster watching women get beat by his drunk dad traumatized him to the core.

To this day he promised he’d never lay a hand on a lady. And this is a guy that chops and grinds meat for a living.

So he laid the rules down on day one so that there’s no take backs and regrets.

If You Don’t Want Kids You Better Make it Very Clear

Though his last rule about having an unwanted pregnancy makes him sound like soulless douche bag. He actually loves the children he has through mistresses. But his point his both parties have to agree before letting the pregnancy happen.

Some girls think they’re clever and get off the pill so that they get pregnant. In their minds they think this would keep a stronger hold on the men. There are nasty cases where children are kept as a bargaining chip in which Suchat had to pay big money to get back. Which in Suchat’s cases be the wrong move.

But he desperately wanted to keep the children. Because he knows he’s the one who can take care of the child’s welfare better than a woman that doesn’t want to work for a living. He even sends his kids to the best school’s he can afford. See ,he’s not a cold heartless as you thought.

Because Suchat knows he’s got the all powerful leverage, cold hard cash.

One Thing to Rule Them All

Suchat is in a position where the local women know he’s a successful businessman. He has a reputation for keeping and sponsoring women and providing them with cash and gifts. That’s why he attracts a lot of gold digging whores.

He’s not stupid. He realizes that women currently putting up with him aren’t with him for his youth, looks, wit and charm. If he wasn’t born into the family business he would never get women lining up to lick his sweaty balls after chopping up pig carcass.

But his business although small has earned him a good living and choice picks of hot local girls, that don’t want to work and stay at home with a bit of cash for shopping.

For a 50 year old Thai man, he’s living the good life.

Tips from Suchat: Even if you’ve got a lot of money to sponsor girls, keep your common sense.

The Kind of Women Suchat Keeps

Suchat attracts women that love money and status. Which is counter intuitive to the teachings of Buddha in which a vast majority of Thais believe in. But that’s just the way the cookie crumbles in Thailand.

Obviously, the majority of women Suchat keeps in his circle come from poor family backgrounds. With limited education and not a lot of choice pick of jobs nor the penchant to work, they look for a man. Or men to throw money and goods at them in exchange for sex and companionship.

These women also think they’re living in some real life low brow soap opera. I’m not kidding. Soap operas play a major influence in Thai women’s psyche.

That’s not to say Suchat only sponsors women dumb as rocks. He’s kept studying hospital nurses, civil servants and oh yes, Thai university students making their way into the real world.

He’s shown photos of the girls he’s sponsored. Many were just average ordinary girls. Though some were real gorgeous. The beautiful Thai girls he sponsors he had to put some real effort into. And when I mean effort I mean more money.

Tips from Suchat: It never lasts.

Girls Come and Go

Suchat knows that the extra women he keeps won’t stay with him forever. He doesn’t get too attached to all of them though there are a few that he really enjoys in the long run.

The reality is according to Suchat and common sense, is that when one of his girls find another man that can make her life just one percent better she’d leave Suchat in a heart beat. Which has happened so he’s used to it.

When one leaves, it’s not too long he finds another.

Sure, there are girls that never want to leave. There could be a genuine reason why they wouldn’t. There could be cases where women have fallen madly in love with him.

Tips from Suchat: You don’t lose your girl. You only lose your turn.

Thai Girls Are Fiercely Competitive

In the West, whenever a wife or a girlfriend finds out you’ve been unfaithful you get divorced. Such as my case.

Here in Thailand if a Thai man gets caught cheating by his old girl, then the old girl goes after the new girl. And when all the preceding ladies in the chain gets whiff and smells first blood then there’s a chain reaction of cat fights, name callings and whining and complaining on Facebook.

You might think Thai girls are demure and non-confrontational. Especially when a girl you currently sponsor finds out you are housing another girl to suck your dick.

The truth is, they’re not going to go after you directly. They’ll scream at each other like harpies with syphilis.

There’s a very good reason why Suchat never ever lets his mistresses meet each other. Because they’d have the balls to jump and suck his dick in front of everyone to lay their claim to Suchat. Come to think of it, that’s not bad at all.

In Thai news there are numerous stories of infidelity though no one ever really points fingers at the guys caught in a love triangle.

Tips from Suchat: Never let the ladies get together. You’ll regret it.

Biggest Advice You’ll Get from Suchat

I’ve been telling Suchat about the shit that happens to foreigners dating Thai women. He knows it can work out. His eldest sister married a guy from Holland and they’ve got several kids and everything looks happy with them.

But when I tell him about the shit that happens with foreigners and Thai girls he’s not surprised. And news reports like this Frenchman got killed as a result from a quarrel with a Thai girlfriend floats around in the news cycle.

Suchat says he would never, ever get involved with Thai bar girls. According to him, they’ve got too much emotional and relationship baggage issues.

But he understands most foreigners don’t have a lot of chances or choices finding “normal” Thai girls. Especially older foreigners like me.

His biggest advice is, if you can’t find a Thai girl, then don’t force a relationship by sponsoring a Thai girl. Especially if you can’t afford to.

Because You’re Responsible

15 years ago one of Suchat’s mia noi was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. It was caught too late and she died within a month. During that month she was hospitalized he covered the cost of her stay and care. And in the end he paid for her funeral also.

Even though Suchat’s got money his mia noi had no medical insurance. So it was on Suchat entirely to cover the expenses. Though he’s got money he said the cost was high and put a dent in his bank account. But he’s got a successful business so he can recover.

Cover of CanCam Massage Review

CanCam Massage Review Bangkok

blog, body to body, Happy Ending Massage, reviews , , 13 Comments

CanCam Massage shop is one of the first sex shops you’ll see when you’re rounding the corner of Sukhumvit Soi 24/1. Like all of the the happy ending massage shops on this L shape soi it has a strong Japanese customer base. But anyone is welcome as long as you can pay to play.

I used to go to their shop often. Until the quality of their girls went downhill. Actually I should say up and down.

CanCam is also one of those happy ending massage shops I’m often asked to review. A lot of guys inform me they always see sexy Thai girls sitting outside. And I went, and I found them and yes they are indeed very sexy .

And then I go back for further “research” purposes. Just a week or two later. Only to find out that the girls are not there anymore. In other words, some dick head probably made marriage proposals to them so now they’re off the market.

The Low Down

So CanCam has been opened for about 4 years or so. Just about the same time when this entire strip made a major face lift.

CanCam has had a rollercoaster of a history, even though it hasn’t been around for a long time. It was one of the best full service massage shop on the strip, with sexy Thai massage girls right after the major renovations 4 years ago.

But the massage business is a hard industry to upkeep. Especially when there are too many greedy men with cash coming to these shops, falling in love with the girls. Long story short, the girls are taken out of the massage shops to be taken care of, or sponsored.

Which is just one of the reasons why I never really posted a review of CanCam Massage previously.

CanCam Massage Bangkok Map
CanCam Massage on Sukhumvit Soi 24/1

To Be Honest

There’s really not much to write about CanCam today. It’s a straight up sex shop. No fun things to do inside like getting pissed on, which you can get at Exotic Massage. There’s no turn your bones to jelly tantric massages like you’d find at Passion Massage or Paradise Massage.

You can’t get a nuru massage experience like you can get at Mitu Massage or Dream Heaven Message.

That said, it’s one of the least exciting places for guys that have been fooling in Thailand for many years.

And You Only Get One Shot

One cum shot at CanCamThis will definitely bum out a lot of guys reading this, but yes, CanCam Massage policy is one cum shot per paid visit. They’re going to have a tough time competing with their neighbor next door, Boss Massage which allows customer multiple cum shots.

CanCam Massage Girls

So since CanCam opened I’ve been visiting on and off. I started visiting again the beginning of this month of January. So far, I’ve been there three times. Which isn’t an easy feat. Because They still don’t have the best looking girls on the block I’m afraid to say.

They are up against many happy ending massage shops on Sukhumvit Soi 24/1 that do have sexy Thai massage girls to compete against.

However, if you like light skinned Thai girls with meat on their bones this is a place for you. Of the times I’ve been there this month there were not a lot of girls that made my eyes pop out. I’d give their girls a grade of 4 to 6.

Cancam’s website is the least helpful. Especially if you can’t read Japanese. Which I can’t. The rates and service title is in Japanese. Also, don’t rely on their lady photo gallery page. It’s not updated.

CanCam Massage Price

Shower Room Price

  • 60 Minutes – 2200THB
  • 70 Minutes – 2500THB
  • 90 Minutes – 2800THB

Jacuzzi Room Price

  • 60 Minutes – 2700THB
  • 70 Minutes – 3000THB
  • 90 Minutes – 3300THB

Notice the nutty price discrepancy between a 60 minute service for 2200THB and 70 minutes for 2500THB. Basically the price difference is 300THB for an extra 10 minutes. I recommend sticking with the 60 minute service here.

As I mentioned earlier, CanCam is an old school massage shop that does not provide a whole lot of interesting sexual services. The prices you see above, are for massage with oil followed by sex.

They do have jacuzzi rooms which start 2700THB for 60 minutes. And two lady massage services for a threesome experience. Though if you want to get it on with two girls you’ll have a better time at Analisa Massage. But because of the talent CanCam had inside I couldn’t justify trying them out let alone pay a high price tag.

Are They Worth the Price

Check out CanCam’s prices on their website for two ladies and you’ll see why. They are one of the priciest happy ending massage shops in Bangkok. Which is fine, as a businessman I’d want to make money by charging my customers as much money as I can too.

However, they have to provide a stellar experience with more service options. Otherwise, there are so many places customers can go providing great service and reasonable rates.

CanCam Massage Room
The rooms are clean but no mirrors on the walls…

Picking the Girls at CanCam

The mamasan remembered me as soon as I approached the shop. She always has a big smile and just a lovely friendly lady. She speaks English so whatever you’re into let her know.

There’s no photo books so she’ll call all the girls to come up before you for a line up. For this review, there were only 6 girls. I got there about 2pm so there’s less girls. Usually they have about a dozen ladies on standby. All of them are dressed in white polo shirts and thigh high tight skirts. Not really the sexiest look but enough to check out the shape of their bodies.

I picked a girl I’ve never seen before. A tall girl and the least heaviest out of the line up. She didn’t have big tits and not much of an ass but she’s got a pretty face and a nice smile. I’ll just call her Mona because she’s got this sexy moan that I’ll get into later.

Up to the Shower Room with Mona

Shower rooms at CanCam are all on the second floor. The walkway is narrow and there are mirrors lining the walls to make the entire space appear bigger.

However, once you’re inside the shower rooms there are no mirrors on the walls. Having mirrors on the walls while having sex with a Thai massage hooker makes the experience much more enjoyable.

The room is clean and everything you’d expect. Theres a shower in the corner and a bed. There are televisions in the room too, but no sports channels. Or porn. Both would’ve made me heap a load of extra points for CanCam.

Shower room at CanCam Massage
This is where the girls clean your cock and balls…

After Mona got back to the room with her kit I was already in my birthday suit flopped on the bed. She started taking her clothes off so we could get to our pre-requisite shower. And that’s when Mr. Winky stood up at attention.

Mona’s has a pretty face but if she got her tits done she’d definitely stand out more. We got into the shower together and she started cleaning me. There was no action in the shower and it was all quite mechanical. That’s also my experience with the last two girls I tried out at CanCam.

I’ve been messing around long enough to know these days that not every Thai massage girl you encounter will give you that “girlfriend” experience. Which most guys look for. But we’re not their boyfriends. So not a big deal to me.

To the Massage Bed

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that Mona and the last two CanCam girls I was with had bad attitudes. In actuality, they were quite nice and playful but I just had to bring it out of them.

I know this sounds nuts, but one thing that stands out at CanCam are the massages. All of the girls did a decent massage on my back, hitting all the acupressure points accurately. This could be something CanCam massage customers prefer and a reason why the girls have to put in actual elbow grease.

There was no body to body massage. If you choose the jacuzzi room you’ll get that service.

However, the massage only lasted 10 minutes on my backside only. When I turned over she started with the foreplay, beginning with ol’ cat bath, which I always enjoy.

Bed inside shower room of CanCam Massage
Small bed inside shower room of CanCam Massage Bangkok…

After a few minutes of that Mona popped out a condom and gave me a covered blow job. Which is standard here at CanCam, at least with the other two girls also. She just gave me a covered blow job for two minutes. Not really a lot of work or enthusiasm put into it but hey it’s a blow job with a condom on so the sensation is minimized anyways.

She got on top cowgirl and because of her slender body, perky tits and a pretty face made the whole experience a hell of a lot better. And she was working it to the point I had to tell her to slow down a few times. And then she sped back up bouncing up and down my cock.

I’m sure she understood me when I told her to slow down a bit as I said it in Thai. I got this feeling maybe she was trying to hurry me. So, I asked to switch position to get on top where I could easily control. When I was ready to pop I asked Mona to get back on top and let her ride me into the sunset.

And she could really ride. As I mentioned earlier she has this really sensual moan. Which is probably an act as I know I’m the worst lover in the world. This was still the highpoint of my visit to CanCam Massage.

But…

I’ve got mixed feelings.

My last CanCam visit with Mona I felt was rushed. I had at least 25 minutes left. Now, as a customer I could’ve said something. Which I usually do and have done at other full service massage shops I try out. I didn’t have this issue with the other two CanCam massage ladies.

So this is something that’s usual as business with Mona, maybe?

But this type of situation happens a lot at other happy ending massage in Bangkok. I just want to quickly point this out, out of fairness.

What to Do

If this happens, we’ve got three choices:

  1. Ask for a massage to fill up the extra time.
  2. Just leave and be happy someone sucked your cock and banged your brains out.
  3. Bitch and moan to yourself quietly and don’t go back.

On this occasion with Mona I picked choice #2. Mostly because I was doing this CanCam Massage shop review. After all I can write about my experience and just let everyone reading this know what to expect and the options.

Massage room at CanCam with television
Bonus points would’ve been give if there were sports and porn played on the tele…

Would I Go Back?

Sure I’d go back. But not as frequently though. Like many full service massage business there are slumps. Meaning periods where they are able to find a couple of sexy Thai girls to fill up their line up. That’s why I keep going back to massage shops that I’ve had previous less then stellar experiences.

Because you just never know you might find a very pretty massage girl to service you.

 

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