Running a Full Service Sex Massage Sounds Like Fun… Doesn’t It?

If the opportunity to open start a sex massage business in Bangkok falls on my lap, I’d turn it down in a heart beat. I think many guys would die for the opportunity to be the pimp in charge. To be surrounded by a dozen big breasted, shaved below beauties every single day.

Alas, that’s not the reality of it all.

I can’t tell you what it’s like to own a massage shop serving up happy endings to men in Bangkok. Because I’ve never done it. The next best thing is to tell you about a guy who did.

His name is Gerald and here’s his tale.

The Luckiest Bastard in the World

I met Gerald four years ago through Rob and Roy. The two idiots I wrote about for how to arrange a two guy one girl threesome in Thailand.

Rob and Roy are total blabber mouths that can’t keep their mouths shut about anything. We all met up one night at a party and one of them told Gerald to talk to me about promoting his place of business. It was the first time the both of us met.

I didn’t know anything about him. Except he was in the import/export business. And that he is wealthy as fuck. You can just sense it when you’re around him. He just oozes douchiness. And all he knew about me was that I studied walruses before retirement.

Gerald looked at me. And I looked back at him. Then both of us gave those idiots a strange look. The same look you give someone that shouldn’t be telling secrets to shut the hell up. I didn’t know Gerald’s secret and he didn’t know mine.

But the cats out of the bag as the saying goes. We found out we had something in common. Gerald discovered I write this shitty blog reviewing sex massage shops. And I found out he owns a shitty massage shop with really ugly hookers near the deep end of Phrom Phong red light district in Bangkok.

Gerald’s Background

This guy hails from one of the wealthiest European nations. His daddy’s wealth originated all the way back to the days when Europeans were slave trading. It’s as old money as it gets. His mommy is a socialite, because why not.

His parents got married and Gerald was born in a posh hospital with the view of a magnificent ancient castle. The castle which is just a symbol of the wealth he will inherit and a guarantee that he’s going to be on top of the shit heap overlooking down on us peasants fighting for leftovers.

From then on its lavish childhood birthdays with the most expensive champagne. Morning horse riding and archery lessons followed by evenings of cello and violin lessons. Going water skiing on his family’s  speed boat on Lake Como and eating the finest cheese and crackers money can buy. On his sixteenth birthday his father took him to the best brothels in the alps where the hottest hookers welcomed him into manhood.

Okay, so I made up that whole last paragraph. I don’t know much about the shit he went through during his young adult life and frankly I don’t care. I just imagined this is the sort of thing rich stuffy European people do. And to give Gerald a good laugh reading this. Although, after letting him read this before posting he said I wasn’t far off.

Then one day, as if life didn’t think Gerald was being treated fairly enough, he was given a position to manage a European company in Japan for a few years. And finally another in Thailand where he is now currently.

He’s only in his late 30’s still in the prime of his life. And he’s single and plans to stay that way until he’s dead. Smart guy…

Things Started Getting Better and Better

His move to Thailand was all paid for. His travel expenses were all taken care. Including a generous expense account for taking clients out to lavish dinners and top shelf whores for dessert.

He gets to live inside a house inside a posh neighborhood in Bangkok rent free. A couple of servants are thrown in for good measure and a car with a driver on 24 hours call.

Of course from Gerald’s prospective this is nothing special. He’s humble in that kind of way. I told him that to me, his life is equivalent to winning three jackpot lotteries at the same time. Twice in the same year.

From Riches to Owning a Brothel

Gerald started dating and getting close to a high class Thai call girl. She eventually became his close confidant, assistant, translator and booty call. Yes, there are exclusive escort services for the rich in Thailand with exceptionally high class hookers. The likes us of us will never, ever see or lay our grubby  hands on.

Long story short she became his trusted fixer. One day she presented him with the opportunity to take over a failing full service massage shop inside Phrom Phong. Her older sister worked inside and told her the current owner was looking to sell cheap and get out fast.

Gerald has never been to the sleazy massage shops of Bangkok for a game of hide the schnitzel. Even though he takes out of town clients for some fun around Bangkok’s red light districts. He usually takes everyone to Thai style gentleman’s clubs. With his classic handsome European features he’s got no problem getting into those girls’ panties.

His clients however, are a different story. They’re older, bald, short with floppy abs and man boobs like me. He had to think of an effective strategy to entertain his clients without jerking them off himself.

So when he got a call from his fixer about a potential business opportunity where he could make his clients “happy” he decided to go for it. He didn’t have to take the business. He did it out of curiosity.

With Gerald as an insider, I could find out certain aspects of this type of business without being too nosy with the other massage shops I frequent.

But I can freely write about this now because after 4 years of running his sex shop he decided to shut it down. It wasn’t making money and he found a buyer and sold at a lost. I can’t name the shop because the new owner has kept the shop’s name. And it’s just as crappy as when Gerald ran the shop, if not worse.

Here’s what I found out about the business after spending time with Gerald. Starting from one of the most important aspects of running a brothel in Thailand.

Thai Sex Massage Health Checks and Regulations

From the comments and emails I receive on a constant basis, sexually transmitted diseases is a major topic. Everyone should be as careful as they possibly can. Check your dicks and make sure there are no scratches.

But seriously, Gerald says every single girl that wants to work at his shop must be accompanied by his trusted confidant to a hospital for health check-up. Most of the businesses involved in the sex industry require their workers to go get regular medical check ups too.

There is no law that requires prostitutes to be checked. No laws. It’s up to the owners of brothels to enforce their sex workers to get regular check ups. Most sex workers do because they are concerned for their own well-being.

There is a system of monitoring sex workers instituted by the Thai government. But let’s face it the Thai government, like any government, is totally inept in practically every aspect of bureaucracy. Monitoring sex workers is the lowest rung on the ladder.

That said, it is totally up to the massage shop to enforce a health and safety check for all their sex workers. It’s just my own firm belief that many shop owners don’t want diseased girls working for them. Think about the repercussions involved if one of their sex workers are suspected of infecting customers.

When Business Goes Bad

Just goes to show you how tough it is to own a sex massage shop in Bangkok. Even when there are so many things going for you in life, this is the type of business to lay down a bitch slap and keep you there.

After finding out I have hands on experience visiting every single massage happy ending massage shop in Bangkok, Gerald offered me a nice salary to help him bring new life into his parlor.

I told Gerald, the only way for this type of business to succeed is to get the prettiest girls to stand outside his shop. Not an old fat guy like me sitting inside with a thumb up his ass.

The formula of success for any brothel is very simple. Yet extremely difficult to achieve today.

Gerald knows a lot of very beautiful Thai girls that don’t claim to be prostitutes but really are. Gold diggers are just on a different level, but are prostitutes nonetheless. Beautiful Thai women that dip their toes into prostitution have more control on the type and manner of men they open their legs for.

Types of Girls Working in Sex Massages

It’s no secret poor girls from small farms make up the bulk of sex workers in Thailand. But there are many instances where Thai ladies of middle income background fall back on the world’s oldest profession.

Many women in Thai society have become mia noi which loosely translates to second wife. If they’re even more lucky their man sets them up with a small business. Once he’s tired of her or thinks she’s become too much of a hassle he abandons her.

This is something that happens too frequently in Thailand. I’ve met a lot of women inside sex massage parlors with similar stories. They were a sponsored mistress and a very small business was set up for them by their sponsor.

When the honeymoon is over they get the boot. As a result they don’t have the money, nor the know how to support themselves after their man grows tired of them.

So they fall back as sex workers to make fast cash. It is only under the most strenuous conditions that girls turn to prostitution. Some of Gerald’s top prettiest girls had their own businesses. They might’ve started out with Thai sponsors early on that helped them start that business. But once their bread winner leaves for a younger girl they are on their own.

Because they didn’t have the right mindset or know how to run a business successfully from the start. Which makes it hard to make their car payments and living expenses alone they start their path to full on prostitution.

The Most Difficult Thing About this Business of Sex

Recruiting beautiful Thai girls is rapidly becoming more difficult today. Half decent looking girls is just as not easy. With social media apps on every working girls’ mobile phone, they can literally cut out the middle man and work on their own. Reaping 100% of the profit.

Most of the girls working in massage parlors are of a different calibre. Majority are dark skinned and thus deemed undesirable in the eyes of rich Thai men that are even darker skinned.

But for us farang we just love em’ girls to pieces. But they are not as hot as their taller lighter skinned whores. However, lighter skinned beauties are exactly the type of girls Gerald’s clients prefer. And finding those types of girls to massage and have sex with out of shape guys with sweaty balls is very difficult.

When Gerald took over the business, he only had four ladies ready to work. Two were in their late twenties. The other two were in their mid thirties. Even with full makeup on these ladies don’t look like they’ll help rake in the money. All of them have at least one kid.

Gerald was introduced to a squad of recruiters and headhunters up north thru the previous owner. Even his current sex workers promised to help look. Of course they all get a finder’s fee for motivation.

He gave them all specific descriptions for the girls interested in working:

1. Age range of twenty to thirty years of age (legal age for sex worker is 18)
2. Weight range 45 to 55 kilos
3. Minimum breast size B cup

In a months time 8 ladies were presented to Gerald for an interview. None of them fit his profile. It was as if the recruiters totally disregarded his requirements. There was a woman who claimed she was in her mid twenties but looked like she in her late forties.

She insisted she was the right age to work and tried her best to convince Gerald to let her work for him. She begged him to test her by letting her blow him. But her age wasn’t the issue. She was double the weight range with looks that will frighten away even customers with beer goggles.

By two months time it got a little bit better. He hired two girls that met his requirements with great potential. And three other girls that were sufficient. He had ten ladies in total which is quite a lot.

Walk in customers started trickling in and his business was making some money. But not enough to keep the business running worthwhile.

The Sex Massage Shop Dilemma

When there are beautiful girls working inside a massage parlor they are eventually swooped up by a foreigner. I get a lot of flack for recommending massage shop with hot girls. And then when a reader goes in all they find are ugly harpies. It’s not my fault.

Sex workers with good looks and a perky set of tits are eventually sponsored by a customer. This happened to Gerald too many times to count. Every single time, it doesn’t matter even when he makes them sign a work contract. The ladies just get their newly found boyfriend to pay and release them from their responsibilities.

You might think why doesn’t Gerald just make the girls sign a contract with an absurdly high release fee. Well if he did that know one would want to work for him.

Some ladies just leave because they don’t like getting jack hammered by strangers and want to get away from this type of work. Gerald releases them from their contract out of kindness. He’s seen the types of customers that comes in and wouldn’t blame the ladies for wanting to stop this type of work.

That’s the dilemma that all massage shops in Bangkok have. It’s not the fault of the business owners. I seriously believe most sex massage shops in Thailand want to make their customers happy.

How Much Massage Sex Workers Get Paid

In Gerald’s shop he goes 50/50 with his  massage girls. Which is very generous. Many other shops go 60/40 with the shop getting the bigger share.

The busiest massage shops and I can’t name it give their ladies 30. But they’re in a big and very popular shop with lots of foreign customers, mainly from Asia and can make a lot of cash through volume.

Angel’s Massage is the most generous, giving their ladies the total amount paid for sex only. Which is one of the reasons why they can maintain a stable roster of sex workers.

I recommended Gerald go with the same pay format as Angel’s. But it’s not feasible for his business model because I doesn’t own the building so there’s rent to pay. While Angels owns the building.

Gerald even considered buying the building to offset cost in the long run. He was given an offer he could handle. But his heart wasn’t set on staying in this type of business much longer because it was becoming very difficult to find good quality massage girls. 50/50 profit share was the best he could do for his workers.

Dealing with the Law

This might come as a shocker to you. Prostitution in Thailand is illegal. But politicians here love pussy just as much as you do if not more. So it’s tolerated. Can’t have government officials getting in trouble with the law for cavorting with prostitutes can we?

And let’s face it. There always will be a demand for sex. Men fly to Thailand from around the world simply because sex for sale is plenty and cheaper here. Even though the Baht is strong the urge for sex is even stronger. As long as there’s a demand someone will be there to catch the drippings of illegal businesses. Usually in the form of an official.

Without getting into too much details as Gerald doesn’t want to burn bridges with the fine folks that were kind enough to allow him to run a brothel. The answer is yes he does have to pay some cash to keep his business running. And to tip him off as well when there’s a “quality of life” check. Which happens once in awhile.

Gerald says of the 3 years he’s been in business he’s never been raided by the police. There’s no reason to. Mainly because he doesn’t have any Lao or Cambodian girls working for him. All of his girls are from Thailand.

And there are zero underaged or barely legal sex workers in his shop. This was an advice that was passed on from the previous owner before Gerald took over. Employing underaged girls is one surefire way to get the police knocking down doors and permanent closure.

Even though legal age for a sex worker is 18 years old Gerald only allowed a minimum of 20 years to be employed as a safe measure.

Why I Never Shit On A Massage Business

One thing I really respect Gerald for is that he never asked me to write a favorable review of his massage shop. Because he already knew his business did not have what it takes to make customers happy. In a way it would also make me mislead my readers.

I would never want to take advantage of the degenerates reading my blog. And also because Gerald didn’t offer me enough money to write glowing positive review about his trash heap of a massage parlor filled with ugly trolls in lingerie.

I’ve been to his shop a few times. This was before I knew he owned it. The few times I went in I came back out like it was a revolving door. Like I always said I don’t like to shit on people’s businesses. Because I know this is one of the toughest businesses to maintain in Thailand.

Another thing is some of the shops are run by a certain Asian criminal organization that likes to cut off subordinates fingers for failure. I’m not going to name names of course.

Yakuza! Excuse me for sneezing. My allergies are killing me.

Gerald had a good learning experience. It was the first time he ever failed at a business. He’s taking it all in stride as they say because it’s not like he sank his entire savings into this business.