You’ll Be Nervous on Your First Trip – I Guarantee It
Making mistakes for your very first trip to the red light districts of Bangkok will happen. But if you follow the advice below you’re going to minimize the damage. You’ll save time and have the confidence to know exactly what to do and shouldn’t for your first experience with prostitutes in Thailand.
This is an addendum to my original page about Bangkok’s nightlife with tips for first timers. All the information is still relevant on that page today. On this page, I’m going to focus on the mistakes you might make or come across.
Why? Because if you’re coming to Bangkok to mess around with Thai hookers you are bound to make some mistakes. You don’t know what to do cause you’ve never paid for sex with Thai hookers.
But I’ve Got You Covered
Yes I totally get it. When you’re about to pop your cherry for the very first time inside one of Bangkok’s soapy massage parlors it’s really easy to get carried away. You’re going to rush and pick the first girl you see. Only to see a hotter, sexier Thai girl a few minutes later.
Or shoot your load too fast hitting the floor and not her vagina. I’ve got a fix for all these problems. I’ve been there. Done that.
It’s normal to make mistakes like paying to join Thai dating websites. Staying in hotels far away from the action of Bangkok’s red light districts. And having Thai hookers getting pissed off at you because you banged her best friend after telling her you love her. I have all your solutions here.
I’ve Made the Mistakes (Lots of It) So You Don’t Have To
I’m going to let you in on all the mistakes I’ve made and learned from along the way. I’ve been messing around in Thailand for over two decades. Even with all the hangovers and waking up in a pile of my own vomit I’ve picked up some pearls of wisdom that I’m going to share with all you first timers beginning with:
- Clean the Pipes
- Less Talk Equals More Action
- Escort and Outcall Services (Reasons why you don’t need them)
- Always Get Out On Your Own
- The Girlfriend Experience (Prostitutes are not girlfriend material)
- Avoid Digging for Thai Clams
- Staying in Hotels Too Far Away from the Red Light Districts
- You Don’t Do What?
#1 Clean the Pipes
You just landed in Bangkok after enduring a long flight stuffed in economy. All that time you’ve been thinking about banging a hot Thai girl after getting an erotic massage. And after checking into your hotel for a quick shower you’ve got this hard on that won’t quit.
Because in about an hour you’re heading to one of the oil massage shops to pick out a young hot sexy Thai girl for some one on one action.
Do This First
I would jerk off and get the first load out in the shower. I am not kidding you. Okay, maybe just a little. Cause it’s funny. But there’s a reason why you should clean the pipes.
Have you seen that movie “There’s Something About Mary”? There’s a scene where the main character’s best friend is giving him the advice to “clean the pipe” in order to think clearer.
As crazy and ridiculous as I’m sounding now it makes total sense. Even if you’re not going out on a date.
As a first timer to the red light districts of Bangkok you’re going to be nervous. I guarantee it. Especially the first time you’re heading to a body to body massage where you know you’re going to get naked in front of a prostitute.
Your adrenalin levels will be elevated. You are on the precipice of getting your dick sucked. The launch code has already been initiated the moment you left your hotel room. Your pecker will be so sensitive you’ll blow your load as soon as you see your massage girl pop off her bra.
You won’t be thinking straight. Here’s a personal story. Back then for me when it was still all new and exciting. I was like a kid in the proverbial candy store inside a massage parlor well known for happy endings in Thonglor (been closed now).
I Was a Nervous Wreck as a First Timer at a Happy Ending Massage Shop
I remember it all as clearly as if it was yesterday. I got there on a Saturday night, the busiest night. There were not a lot of cute girls in the line up. Only 4 girls with average looks available were leftover.
I was so ramped up and ready so I picked the best out of the lot. My palms were sweaty and my heart was beating so fast. It took me less than a minute to choose my massage girl.
While I was taking off my shoes and changing into slippers a really hot massage girl dashed through the front entrance in her street clothes and headed back to the changing rooms. The lesson here is if I only waited and took my time I would’ve been with that sexy hot Thai massage girl instead.
Don’t Be a Fool, Be Cool
Playing it cool also means taking your time. For example if you are going to a soapy massage you will see plenty of soft chairs to sit down and take a look at the ladies. You want to take your time picking the ladies. Do not let the papasans persuade you to choose girls in a hurry.
If you do not see anyone you like then feel free to leave. There are plenty of other soapies to check out. I do the same for go go bars and oil massage parlors.
Even if you don’t feel like jacking off before heading out just remember to play it cool. Relax and take your time. Today, there are a lot of Thai girls working as full time and part time prostitutes. So there’s no need to pick one fast. Unless you’ve only got one night in Bangkok then you don’t have a choice.
Otherwise, remember to clean the pipes before leaving your hotel room!
#2 Talk Less Equals More Action
You may not have noticed. But during certain awkward situations in your life you might talk more than you realize. Having your first paid sexual encounter with a prostitute will be as awkward as it gets. After all, an absolute total stranger is going to see your dick. And paid to suck it!
Asking a Thai prostitute her name is normal. But when you start asking detailed questions about her life like:
- What’s your favorite food?
- How many days do you work?
- What do you do on your days off?
- Do you like movies?
- Have you ever had a farang boyfriend?
I’ll do you a big favor and answer those question, so you don’t have to waste your precious time.
Thai prostitutes favorite food is Thai food, particularly Isaan food. Though they’ll enjoy KFC once in awhile. They work 6 days a week plus a few extra days off during their menstrual cycle. They sleep the entire day during their days off. Yes they like movies. Yes they’ve had foreign boyfriends before.
I’m not advocating you should be an asshole. Because there are girls that don’t mind the small chit chats and are still able to do a satisfying job. Other Thai prostitutes will take advantage of your curiosity and turn it into a whole 60 minute conversation or whatever time you paid for her. Which means, she’s not focused on massaging you, playing with your balls and the other services you’re paying her to do.
For the newbies, I know you might have limited time. Which means you want to make the best of it. So remember, less talk, equals more service.
#3 You Do Not Need Thai Escort Services Or Outcall Services (Not Unless You Really Need It)
When I first came to Bangkok I relied on Thai escort services for hookers. It’s natural reflex to use such services because you could be too nervous to go out and look for Thai hookers on your own. Or you could just be lazy.
Don’t be nervous. And don’t be lazy especially. In Thailand picking up prostitutes in the red light districts is just business as usual. All the information you need to go directly to find prostitutes in Bangkok is right here.
Notice Something Unusual About My Website
When you take a look at my horribly designed website did you notice something off?
This website has no escort advertisements. No Thai dating website advertisements. I’m not selling E-Books on how to pick up Thai hookers. They are hookers! The answer is simple, give them money.
I don’t sell information on how to pick up Thai prostitutes around Bangkok. There is no secret formula to it all.
There are many websites with free information about Bangkok’s nightlife just like this one that will point everything out to you. That’s why this website has maps of places where you can find soapy massage parlors and oil massage shops that provide happy endings, nuru massage and even prostate massages. Which is like the new thing in Bangkok.
Every ounce of info on go go bar fines, happy ending massage parlors, soapies, beer bars, picking up Thai hookers and even Thai ladyboys is shared out on this website out of fun. So do not pay for information which you can find for free here. Or anywhere else. Period.
If you’re set on getting a call girl to your hotel room via Thai escort service you won’t get anything special. Compared to going out on your own. But there is one big difference. You could end up having an ugly troll show up at your door, which is the usual.
You Will Save More Money Finding Thai Hookers On Your Own
You’ll also save some of your hard earned cash. I saved a lot more money going out and searching for Thai prostitutes on my own terms. I had more fun too.
The language barrier will not be an issue. Trust me on this. Most Thai prostitutes have a good grasp of the English language. I know you might think language is one of the biggest issues, but it’s not going to be a concern. Unless you have an accent that is hard to understand.
I have a friend with a Geordie accent and I swear every time he speaks I have to translate his English to English. If you have an accent, take it easy on the girls by speaking slowly. It should help.
When I first started coming to Thailand, I could easily talk to the ladies and check out what services they provide. How many times can I cum? Can she jerk me off and spank me at the same time? And other tawdry details you do not want to know about me that I only share with prostitutes.
So Easy to Find Prostitutes in Bangkok
Most importantly I know what I’m getting when I’m standing face to face, being able to check out the lady before taking her back to my hotel room. Because Thai escort services still charge you some money regardless if the Thai escort girl that showed up to your front door is not to your liking. Or doesn’t look like the girl’s photo on the escort website.
There is one exception I suppose where you would really need to hire a hooker through a Thai escort service. And that is if you are wheel chair bound. Like one of my best friends who is a double amputee. But even then, he wheels his legless ass out to the bars.
Bangkok is not exactly a handicap accessible city. He’s shit out of luck even if he wants to cross the street. So yeah, if you’re unable to get out of your hotel room, by all means try out a Thai escort service.
Okay so maybe there are really other reasons why you need the services of a Thai escort agency. But if you are able to get out and socialize, then do it.
#3 Going Out on Your Own (There’s No Excuse to Not Getting Off Your Butt)
Besides escort services a lot of rookie mistakes are made when they rely on others to find them Thai working girls instead of searching on their own. Really, if you are going to fly half way across the world you should get out and really check out Bangkok’s red light districts.
Though there are exceptions such as certain hotels in Bangkok with hookers where you can find ladies inside the hotel lobby or bar. Which is great because you still have to get out of your room if you’re planning to stay in those hotels anyways.
I’ve seen (and known) guys ask hotel bell boys, tuk tuk drivers, motorbike taxis and hotel bartenders if they have any Thai hookers to introduce to them to. In a way it makes some sense especially around Sukhumvit area between Nana and Soi Cowboy.
If any of them have worked in the area for a long while they may have been in contact with working girls that stay around looking for foreigners to pay them for sex.
I can say for sure that even if they don’t know any prostitutes directly they probably know someone in the area who does. As a result everyones going to want a cut of the hooker’s profit. Which means you’re going to end up paying more money then you really have to.
Never Trust Outside Help
And let’s be honest here. Any Thai person you ask to get you a hot Thai girl quickly to your hotel room will probably bring anything. And I mean anything wearing lipstick with two legs and lips to your door.
Because they are only interested in getting your money. Not your customer satisfaction. You will probably get a toothless old hotel housekeeper hard up for cash sent to your room.
But today a lot of Thai girls working as part time or full time hookers have found ways to find men through the miracle of the internet. With their smartphones.
With apps like Facebook, Tinder and WeChat etc. the playing field as widened. They can attract prospective customers halfway across the world to come to Thailand to bone them for a price.
Thai Freelance Prostitutes
Another great way to find Thai freelancers, whether real Thai girls or Thai ladyboys is on a web directory like Bedpage which has replaced another similar site shutdown by the US government. So you’re going to have to wait a little while until it gets filled up with ads by Thai freelancers. Because it’s still very new.
Today, I highly recommend spending the bulk of your holiday budget on Thai freelancers. Because these types of Thai working girls in Bangkok’s sex industry are very flexible on their asking prices.
Here’s a scenario. It’s 11pm and if I come across a hot Thai hooker at a bar asking 8000THB for long time I tell her that’s a bit high.
I’ll counter back with 6000THB. If she doesn’t agree then I’ll give her my mobile number and tell her to give me a call if she can’t find any customers for the night. But I also mention the price drops 1000THB as every hour passes.
It works 90% of the time as long as you don’t offer her a ridiculously low price. Or if she finds another punter willing to pay her more money. Try it for yourself. It’s very effective when you have a lot of time in the city.
#4 The Thai Girlfriend Experience
There is nothing wrong with treating a woman like a lady. But you can’t expect to treat your newfound paid Thai companion as a “girlfriend”. I know it’s quite easy to fall into that category because we enjoy that warm fuzzy puppy love feeling.
There are too many guys visiting Bangkok’s red light districts for the very first time looking for love. It’s a mistake. Don’t get me wrong there are foreigners that really do end up in happy relationships with Thai girls that were former prostitutes. But there are a shit load more horror stories than good ones.
As a first timer to Bangkok’s red light districts you have to realize something up front.
You want to have sex with her. She wants your money.™ (Thinking about printing that on t-shirts)
Don’t confuse love with attention. You’re going to get a lot of attention when you are inside the go go bars and there will be Thai girls approaching you not for your looks. But the cash in your wallet and then some.
The difference between a newbie and a regular in Bangkok’s red light districts is that experienced visitors know that the relationship between a customer and a Thai prostitute is based on the amount of money a customer is willing to pay.
There are 3 types of visitors coming to Bangkok:
- Guys looking for sex only
- Guys looking for a short term casual Thai girlfriend
- Desperate lonely guys looking for a for long term Thai girlfriend (even a Thai wife)
Which one of those are you?
Chances are you are only looking for raw sex only. Some cute girl to eat your asshole, massage your nuts and swallow your cum. Which means you are coming in looking to have sex with a lot of Thai hookers and then be gone.
So why go in and try to develop a girlfriend relationship with a Thai hooker in the first place? I’ve seen a shitload of drama happen to first timers because they are treating every single Thai girl they hook up with like a girlfriend. Some of the girls work at the same bar so now they can not go back cause they are avoiding all of them. Or waiting until the heat has cleared.
Don’t complicate things by telling a Thai hooker you love her and want to be with her for a very long time. Even though most Thai hookers know men are full of shit they will still cling to that 10% chance that they are being sincere. This is especially true if they know you are wealthy.
There are Thai girls working in the industry that are none the wiser and absolutely gullible. Those are the ones that suffer terribly from broken hearts when their primary bread winning customer takes off with another Thai prostitute.
I’m going to admit. I have been guilty of this for a very long time. It’s only been about 4 years ago that I’ve started stating my intentions to not get involved in a relationship. If you have no plans for a long term relationship with a Thai girl, then do not plan on one and lead them on.
#5 Avoid Digging for Thai Clams
Of the 20 years I’ve been in the company of prostitutes in Thailand I’ve only had the taste of two Thai furburgers.
My Thai friend set me up with two smokin’ sexy Thai girls a long while ago and that was the only time I indulged in the honey pot.
Cunnilingus is not mandatory, you got that? You don’t need to perform on her. And I’ve never been asked by prostitutes to play in their sandboxes. From all the Thai prostitutes I’ve spoken to, they don’t want it from you either.
These days you can never be too safe ever since throat cancer is linked to oral sex. How’s that a reason for abstaining.
But here are a few personal reasons why I resisted “Kneeling at the Altar”:
- It’s freaking filthy and nasty!
- A lot of dicks went inside there!
Granted most hookers in Thailand I believe are trying to stay clean as they possibly can too. So do I. And I get it, I can’t have my cake and eat it too. But I’ll be damned if I gotta put my lips on a prostitutes gash.
Which is why most Thai prostitutes you’re going to meet inside gogo bars, massage parlors and soapies won’t let you go down on them. This is especially true if they’ve never met you before.
I have a few friends who are into eating pussy. And the Thai prostitutes that allow them to do it knew them for awhile. If you’re like them and dead set on dining at the Y here’s what you have to do.
Build a rapport and then simply ask if you can munch on their carpet. It’s that simple. This way you know for sure and won’t be disappointed in the bedroom.
#6 Staying Too Far Away from the Red Light Districts
I can’t tell you how many times I get emails from first time visitors telling me they’re staying near Don Meung airport or Suvarnabhumi airport. Followed with the question of where to find Thai hookers near the airports. I’m rather certain Thai hookers don’t hang around airports in Bangkok.
I understand hotels near Don Meung and Suvarnabhumi are cheaper. But it takes nearly 30 to 40 minutes to get from the airports to the red light districts and cost 250THB per way. Doesn’t make sense at all to pay taxi fares and spend that amount of time sitting in a taxi with a serious case of the blue balls.
When you can stay at a hotel near Nana Plaza or Soi Cowboy and walk outside of your hotel to find Thai prostitutes outside the hotels. And if you really think a Thai hooker working in Sukhumvit is willing to travel to your hotel room near an airport you’d better think again. Or offer her enough Thai Baht to convince her take off with you.
Take a look at Ruamchitt Plaza Hotel which has a popular laid back bar downstairs filled with Thai freelance hookers at night. Granted it’s not the kind of hotel you’d want to take your mom to for a holiday in Bangkok.
It’s still a pretty good hotel to stay in Bangkok’s red light districts even if you’re in the city for a night.
The RuamChitt Hotel is One of the Best Examples of a Hotel in Bangkok with Thai Hookers
You can take a look at the reviews and prices of Ruamchitt Hotel to see if it’s the right choice for you.
Got more (or less) money to spend on hotel rooms near the red light districts. There are many other bar girl friendly hotels throughout the red light districts of Bangkok.
About 10 years ago I stayed at a transit hotel near Don Meung Airport just a night. I remember I was searching around for massage shops with happy endings. I found none.
Recently I explored the area around Don Meung again just to see if times have changed. I was curious if it’s possible guys can find some action in the area. The area looked pretty much the same way it did 10 years ago.
There’s nothing there. There are massage shops but those places are all traditional. And even then, I don’t think you want to get jacked off by the types of ladies working at those massage parlors. Same story with Suvarnabhumi Airport.
Hotels in the Red Light Districts of Bangkok Are Very Affordable and Clean
Even today I still stay at a hotel near Soi Cowboy or in Nana even though I live further down Sukhumvit. Because hotels in Bangkok are so affordable. Most of the times I stay in hotels in the $40USD to $60USD range.
Hotels in that price range are quite nice. I’ve also had friends stay in $30USD hotels that are decent and comfortable with short walking distance to go go bars and massage shops with special massage services.
Paradiso Boutique Suites is one example of a hotel in Bangkok closer to Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza is only a 10 minute walk. And Paradiso has no problems at all if you are taking a Thai prostitute back to your room and cost between $30USD and $45USD for a standard room.
#7 You Don’t Do What?
Your hard drive is stuffed full of cum in mouth video compilations. And you can’t wait to shoot your jizz inside a Thai bar girls mouth. That’s your plan so you can’t wait to get to Bangkok.
Finally you’re inside your hotel room in Bangkok and you picked up a beautiful go go bar girl for long time. She’s giving you a blow job and just when you shout out you’re coming she pulls your cock out of her mouth and jerks you off to completion. With your spunk pooling on your crotch.
Wait a minute you say to yourself. That’s not supposed to happen. You were supposed to cum in her mouth. Just like the 1GB worth of porn in your computer says so.
So what the fuck happend?
Thai Prostitutes Are Not Mind Readers
I know when you’re coming to any of Thailand’s red light districts you’re expecting some sort of porno fantasy come true experience. Where everything happens like they way you’ve seen them on Pornhub.
In most cases it doesn’t.
You have to tell all the prostitutes you paid to have sex with what you expect. Because I can guarantee you there will be acts they don’t want to do.
Like anal sex. Or fisting, either done to you or to her. You can cum in her mouth but she might charge you a little bit more money for it. Or some won’t charge at all. Either way, best to ask first.
Remember All These Tips and You Will Be Fine in Bangkok’s Red Light Districts…
I’ve made lots of mistakes while fooling around in Bangkok’s red light districts. I’ve also spent a lot of time dispensing advice on where to find the best massage shops with happy endings and go go bars in Bangkok.
I can tell you one thing today compared to 20 years ago. And that is there are a lot more ways to find Thai hookers in Bangkok now.
Back then, searching on the internet where to find the best happy ending massage shops didn’t come up with as much search results as you would find today.
Because today, even massage shops catering to foreign men have their own websites. It’s the same with go go bars in Bangkok.
The information is all out there. Which is why you don’t need to hire Thai hookers out of escort services. You don’t need to pay extra money for the information that is already here on this website or others.
Now You Know What to Expect, You’ll Be Ready for Your First Trip to Bangkok’s Red Light Districts
You don’t have to earn brownie points with Thai girls you pay money to have sex with. Treat them decently and pay them the agreed price. That’s all. Not more, not less. The girlfriend experience is not real. The sooner you learn this, the sooner you will thank me.
Stay at a hotel in the red light districts of Bangkok. Not out of it. That’s the biggest advice I can dispense to all the newbies planning their first jaunt to Bangkok’s red light districts.
Don’t assume Thai hookers will agree to all the nasty shit you want to do to them. Ask first. This way you won’t have any disappointments.
Okay so the first one about cleaning the pipes is obviously a joke. But it’s funny because it’s true.
Whether you are reading this to get ready for your first trip to Bangkok’s red light districts or a seasoned veteran to the scene, my 8 tips are valuable advice for anyone looking to have fun in the city.
