Thai GF Dating Tips for Farang Men over 40

If you’re a dude in your 40’s looking to date good young Thai girls in their 20’s, good luck. I’m not saying it’s impossible. I’m just saying it’s nearly impossible. Unless you’ll settle for a young Thai prostitute that is. Which is the route most older farang guys take in Thailand.

Starting off any kind of relationship can be a scary at any age. Particularly when you’re 40 years old and planning on dating a Thai girl half your age. In Thailand, it’s very common to see local Thai men with Thai women half their age.

For foreigners it’s same same. You definitely won’t get dirty looks of disapproval compared to most western nations. Which is why if you’re a farang man in your 40’s living in Thailand you’re in the sweet spot.

Why a Dating Guide for 40 Year Olds

So why am I not writing a dating guide for all ages. Why not for guys aged 20 to 30?

Well if you fall between those age groups you have more choices in terms of options to find girls across Thai society. If you’re in your 20’s you might be able to attend business school at a fine Thai university. And pick up university girls in the process of picking up a degree.

If you’re a guy in your 30’s you’re not far off from meeting and dating good Thai girls found inside hip bars and clubs throughout the city’s posh neighborhoods.

For guys in their 40’s, here’s a scenario which you might be familiar with already. You’re a 40 year old dude inside one of the clubs at RCA. You’re dressed in your Sunday best and trying to mingle with beautiful young high society girls half your age. They flat out ignore you.

While the gay bartenders, ladyboys and the old women mopping the floor of vomit are giving you all of their hot attention. Sound familiar?

Guys in their 40’s looking to start a real relationship with good Thai girls will have hurdles and less options in the dating pool. Because most good Thai girls already have boyfriends around their age already.

Most farang men in their 40’s and living in Thailand have already missed the boat. But it’s still not too late to catch the next ride.

You’ll Still Get Some Looks in Thailand

Old farang guys with young girlfriends in Thailand will catch a little bit of attention. Just the same way most societies will look at your young girl friend as a gold digger. It’s a symbiotic relationship at the core.

How to not look like a sex tourist when you’re with a young Thai girl at a restaurant. Find a guy older than you with a younger girl and sit next to their table!

Matter of fact you might get the most dirty looks by Western families like a husband and wife with their kids having a meal. You might get that evil stink eye from the wife. While secretly the husband is thinking about pushing his old hag off a cliff and find a young Thai honey for himself. Just like you did.

Old Guys Renting Young Thai Girlfriends

Older guys want younger girls because, well, it’s sort of like a temporary fountain of youth for guys in a midlife crisis. And cheaper than buying a Porsche.

While young Thai girls searching for old farang men see them as a lottery ticket to take a risk on. After all, not all lottery tickets are jackpots. Some tickets can get you a lot of cash. Some a little cash.

On the contrary, younger good Thai girls want to have relationships with men around their own age range. They are not actively seeking older men in their 40’s. Because there are already so many farang men (with money) around their age they can date. That’s the cold hard truth and a bitter pill to swallow even for myself. And I’m in my early 50’s.

Sure, if you’re in your 50’s you can find a Thai girl in her 20’s too. But her education level could be low and let’s face it she’s just with you for the money. Regardless if you’ve got a good heart or not. Here lies the truth behind why so many older farang and young Thai girl relationships never last long.

The Search for the Perfect Normal Thai Girlfriend – Is it Possible for Old Farang Guys?

When we picture normal girls in a Western relationship we’re thinking mostly about girls with a strong family connection. And they have decent jobs with a decent salary. Maybe with a university degree or two. That’s not far off from the perspective of Thai society.

Here in Thailand the dating pool is more restricted for farang that just came out of nowhere and plopped themselves in the country. All normal Thai women from a family with a good background and secure financial well being are most likely already in a relationship with Thai men with similar history and family background. Arranged marriages are still in fashion in Thailand.

This will be tough to read but if you’re older your chances of dating a good Thai girl in her early 20’s will be unlikely. Which is why your options in the dating pool is really limited.

One of Your Options

If you’re in your 40’s you’ll have a better chance of finding a good Thai girl in her early 30’s though. After all, 30’s is the new 20’s isn’t it. Okay, not exactly. But still, if you think about it it’s not that bad.

I’ve dated good Thai girls in their 30’s and it was great. Problem is they wanted to get married and their biological time clock was ticking and they wanted to give their parents grand kids.

There’s nothing wrong with dating girls that are more mature. It’ll probably work out better for both parties emotionally. And financially. Thai girls in their 30’s could be a bit wiser and a much better match for you. And women in their 30’s aren’t even that old if you really think about.

Be Realistic

My suggestion, which you’ll probably hate is to seek out some good Thai ladies that are closer to your generation. Think about the conversations you’ll have with a 20 year old when the joys of monogamous sex gets monotonous. This is especially true if you’re a man 50 years old and up.

As I mentioned already, your options are limited. Which leaves most 40 plus year old foreigners shit out of luck.

But there’s a risky chance if you’re dead set on the goal to find a young Thai girl friend half your age.

Go for the Low Hanging Fruit

And that chance you’ll have to take is with Thai prostitutes. There’s no other way around it. I always preach, don’t date prostitutes and I mean it. I also know a lot of guys will never heed my advice and the advice of others. But if you’re in your 40’s and not in the upper echelons of Thai society you’re going to have to go where the low hanging fruit is.

It’s your only option in the Thai dating pool. Now there is a chance she could be a gem. An outlier of sorts. It can happen. I’ve met former Thai prostitutes that broke the mold like Gam who’s trying to educate working girls so they’ll work smarter.

So how do you sort through all the undesirables. How do you filter out the riffraffs in the Thai dating cess pool of prostitutes and semi-pros. It won’t be easy. Because in Thailand, there’s an epidemic of gold digging whores. But there’s a ray of hope for all you brave souls when you follow my 5 rules.

Jim Hunt’s 5 Rules for Vetting Potential Prostitute Girlfriends:

1. This one is important. She’s broken off ties with her family or her parents are dead with no siblings to support.
2. Superstition does not run her life. But if you can put up with all the bat shit craziness, then more power to you.
3. She doesn’t get down on her knees between a guy’s legs every time someone buys a beer at 7 Eleven. I couldn’t think up of a useful #3 so I made this one up. 5 Rules just sounds better than 4.
4. Gambling and illegal drugs don’t run her life. A lot of Thai prostitutes are on drugs with gambling as an extra addiction. Stay away from girls with with these problems. Trust me on this one.
5. Have her tested for sexually transmitted diseases. Do it at a big hospital. Not a clinic.

Relationships are stressful enough. When you add the financial burdens of a Thai honey pot I can tell you one thing for sure, it’s not going to be a fun ride.

If you want less stress in relationship with a Thai prostitute then look for a girl that has severed ties with her immediate family. I believe a lot of poor families in Thailand know their daughters are selling their bodies. But they don’t object to it because it’s the quickest steadiest stream of income provided by their daughters.

It’s a see no evil, hear no evil mentality. But they sure as hell know their daughters are making fast money laying on their backs.

In many ways, Thai prostitutes have parents or relatives that are spoiled rotten. I’ve seen too many bar girls cry their eyes out because their families just keep asking for money. If a Thai prostitute’s family member finds out about you, you can bet your ass they’re going to want something from you, through her.

Get Her Tested for STDs, at a Real Hospital

Here’s a true story. My friend took his new Thai girlfriend he picked up at street corner on Sukhumvit road. Both hit it off really well at the start. A month later he took her to a clinic to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases.

Afterwards, she contacted and tried to bribe the medical technician to hide the fact she is HIV positive. Lucky for my friend, the clinic was honest and spoke to my friend directly and told him the truth. If it was another clinic he might not have been as fortunate.

Can You Trust a Thai Girl you Just Met?

After reading that bit about the HIV incident my friend had, the answer is very clear. Never trust her at first. There are a lot of desperate Thai girls looking for a glimmer of hope that you’re the proverbial knight in shining armor. Some, are just with you as a stepping stone and will leave you until something better comes along.

A healthy dose of paranoia and cautiousness during the first stage of having a Thai girl live with you, eat with you and share your bed will benefit you. Does she love you for you? Or does your new Thai girlfriend only want your money?

There’s always, always going to be a nagging feeling or thought in your mind whether or not your young girlfriend will be with you in the long run.

Most Thai women are open to marriage with foreigners. They think we have stable jobs and when we retire we get pension of some sort courtesy of our governments. There’s nothing wrong I believe for a women to look for a man who can support her. But I also think she’s got to work too, at least at a normal job. It goes both ways.

Point is be careful at first. If something looks off be sure to ask questions. And if you get that stinking feeling in your gut she’s a bad apple then break it off as soon as you can.

Neil from Moosepiss, Alaska, USA

My buddy Neil is in his mid 40’s working as a software engineer consultant. So he can work anywhere he can plug his computer into. He got tired of living in an igloo in Moosepiss, Alaska and decided he wanted to enjoy long term living in sunny, warm Thailand. Though not indefinitely.

He’s a veteran of the red light districts of Bangkok and Pattaya for the past 10 years so he’s familiar with the grind. Except for dating Thai girls which he’s never done.

I’ve spoken to Neil about his options. I explained to him at his age, he’ll have better luck finding a good single Thai girl around his age. But Neil would have none of it. The pervert wants a young nubile Thai girlfriend. And she’s got to clean his condo too on a regular basis, do his laundry and cook. With the occasional massage. On top of that he doesn’t want to get married.

No self respecting good educated middle classed Thai girl would stoop to Neil’s level of misogynistic degradation.

Prostitute for Neil it is. That’s the best option he’s got. It’s the only option he has really. As Neil has no time for courtship ritual.

The Time Factor

This is really important. Normally it takes time to cultivate a Thai-Farang relationship with a good girl. But Neil doesn’t have that kind of patience. Which is the reason why he’s opted for a rent a girlfriend.

There’s no need to wait for the warm and fuzzy feeling. The moment you pay her salary is the moment she moves in with you. Simple and quick.

Neil’s Hunt for a Prostitute Girlfriend

Neil asked me if I was looking for a young Thai girl in her early 20’s where would I go. I suggested the oil massage parlors. It was just an easy answer because he already likes those kinds of places. I was against Neil’s intentions though. But like a good friend I was just trying to help him mitigate as much damage as I can.

Though there is truth to the fact that if you want a girlfriend massage shops are a good place to start. Because in my opinion, most of the girls working inside massage shops are not as hardened nor jaded as say girls working inside gogo bars.

Plus girls working inside massage shops are regularly tested for STDs with test results that fall directly onto the hands of massage operators. So there’s no chance a massage girl can manipulate the results.

But… There’s Always a But…

That’s not to say they won’t have any emotional baggages at all. Most girls working in the sex industry have had experience with relationships with foreign men and especially with Thai men previously.

Neil already had a massage girl in mind from a massage shop we frequent a lot together. And the massage girl could speak English well enough. So Neil started talking to her on the phone and told her his plan to take her out of massage and have her be his live in girlfriend.

She’s going to want to know how much money you’ll give her. If you’re taking her out of her place of work, then you better be able to cover her cost of living and then some. If you don’t give her spending money then you’ve got to give her a reason to stick around with you.

Otherwise, she’s not going to put up with you if you can’t even give her the amount of money she makes as a massage prostitute.

The girl Neil had his eye on is 23 years old and was working the happy ending massage parlor scene since she was 19. She was getting tired of the job, though not tired of the money she was earning. Neil told her he could give her 45,000THB a month and she could move into his 2 bedroom condo rental.

She wouldn’t have to pay for anything out of her own pocket. Neil, would be responsible for everything. Surprisingly, she agreed even though she made a little bit more money as a prostitute. But having 45,000THB every month with not a single bill pay. And Neil will take care of her shopping expenses to a certain point. She agreed.

You’re Responsible for Her

If you take a working girl out of her environment, you my friend are responsible for her. She was making money until you decided to take her out of work. She’s going to need something to replace her income which could be sizable, depending on her age and looks.

Taking a prostitute out of her work place for good is called sponsoring and it happens frequently  inside Bangkok’s red light districts.

These girls are not stupid to just pick up and leave their place of work. You’ll have to get them a place to live and demonstrate you can give her a monthly salary. Otherwise, they’re not going to move in with you.

I explained to Neil he should make her self supportive. But doing so involves even more money at the initial start. Think of it as an investment in her future that will benefit you as well. Because if all goes well, you can wean her off from your monthly contributions.

Here’s 3 ways how to go about it.

3 Ways to Make Her Self Supportive

1. Start a business for her

Out of the three options, if it was her choice she’d want you to start a business for her. Which is very risky. What kind of business? I don’t know. So do your research. You’ll have to talk it through with her. The profits can go directly to her pocket instead of you being her only monetary source. But if business is bad it’s on you to pick up the cost of running a business.

As I said, very risky. But the rewards could be great.

2. Make her smarter

Get her an education. This option will get you the most resistance. As most girls working in the sex industry have low self esteem. She will have an advantage though. Because she’s with you, you can have her practice her English oral skills.

When she’s ready she’ll be equipped with the right smarts to deal with a normal job so she won’t have to smooch cash off of you.

3. Get Her a Normal Job

When she graduates, have her work in the hospitality industry. Hotels are always looking for fluent English staff. A lot of international business are putting up shop in Bangkok. Which means they will need educated Thais to fill up their office space.

Did you know Starbucks Thailand has one of the best perks for their employees? From health insurance, dental care and much more. Just make sure Todd the Canadian isn’t near her. Starbucks is planning to open a ton of stores all over Thailand.

Catch is the good jobs require applicants with a university degree. Which is why getting her an education, is the best thing you can do for your Thai girlfriend in the long run.

What Happened with Neil from Moosepiss, Alaska?

To make a long story short, fortune favored Neil. His lady friend is disease free. Although her parents are still alive, they are divorced and never contacted her for anything. She doesn’t do drugs expect smoke cigarettes but she buys lottery tickets once in awhile. There’s nothing for Neil to be concerned about.

Neil went the route of getting his Thai girlfriend an education. She objected at first but through Neil’s perseverance she relented. They’ve been in a relationship for three and a half years now. She graduated from a University in Bangkok in two years and found a job working as a receptionist at a Thai hotel. With her English level she’s planning on making it to manager and who knows maybe a higher position in the future.

Her job doesn’t pay anywhere near what she made lying on her back or giving body to body massages to sex tourists. But Neil still gives her some extra spending money and buys her luxury brand names goods now and then. She’s definitely happy she’s out of the pay for play scene.

Both turned out very happy and content. Neil is even thinking about marrying her. Even though she had not asked. Good going for Neil.

It’s All About the Money

Everyone knows this is true. It’s true everywhere. Not just for living in Thailand with a younger girlfriend. If you have a lot of money, there is no reason why a younger girl would want to leave you. You have all the leverage.

While if you’re just making ends meet with not enough cash to support both of your lifestyles and expenses your ex-prostitute girlfriend will just jump back into the oldest profession. Or seek out another sponsor.

Younger guys can get away with a lot of shit when it comes to dating younger Thai girls. Maybe it’s because they think younger guys don’t have a lot of money compared to older foreigners. In this case, most Thai girls are into their looks with a touch of sexual physical attraction.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying Thai girls in their 20’s won’t find older man attractive. I’m just saying they’ll most likely be attracted to how much money you can give them. And how much useless shit you can buy them.

Thai girls believe that the older the foreigner is the more wealth he as accumulated in his lifetime. This is another hard truth pill to swallow so there’s a lot of expectations on you.

Wrapping it all up

I don’t recommend having a Thai girlfriend with a background in the sex industry. But there are instances where it works out when you have the right cards in your hand.

Getting a Thai girl that has no contacts with immediate family is the best way to not have to worry about marriage or putting up with potential family money problems. Out of all my friends with Thai girlfriends the ones that last long and look healthy are the ones where they are not burdened by family financial problems and drama.

Have her contribute somehow. The longer you’re with her, you might even end up with a little one running around. If your Thai girl is able to earn some money, without going back to her old ways, then she can help pay for raising children. Good education for children in Thailand is not free and will cost you.

Getting a Thai girl at least a decade younger could be a better match for you in the long run. As much as we all love young pretty girls we have to be realistic. Besides, just like us they’re not going to stay young forever anyways.